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Episode 0389: Welcome to Safe Haven!

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Yesterday I lost 2 Commodity Chest veteran rewards, 2 cornucopias (that I picked up after the great turkey invasion and massacre), and 5 book shelves that change graphics when they're filled (which can only be gotten by paying EA a couple dollars in their online store). I lost all of that and more during my first few hours back on Siege, but that was yesterday's fail. Today's fail stings much, much more... I can't beleive I didn't have UO Screenshot Utiltiy running for today's adventure.

I've included a few screenshots, but they were all taken after the fact. And as a person who is obsessed with screenshots, it hurts my soul to not have the actual pics to share with you now. I was jamming the "print screen" button the entire time, but the program wasn't running. You're going to have to endure a rough couple episodes and watch me as I fumble and bumble my way back towards being a competent thief.

Hail friends,

The redesign for New Magincia may be old news to most, but it's all new to me so I figured it would be a good place to get started. There were a few shoppers here and there, but none of them was carrying anything tastey enough for my grubby little paws. It was all a little slow, a little tame, and something catches my eye:

(Sure, why not?)


I'm whisked all the way into the courtyard of a castle in ancient Siege Perilous player town of Safe Haven, located at the Britain/Minoc/Yew crossroads.

The doors to the inner keep are locked.

I try my luck with the back doors and...


Well, if those doors aren't secure, maybe there is more to be had?

I check the entire castle, top to bottom.

All secure.

(I'm not that lucky.)

Someone was going to come home sooner or later (I hoped) and whenever they arrived it became abundantly clear to me that my biggest obstacle was going to be all of the damn motion sensitive black cat statues that literred the castle, each one letting out a horrific cat sound, activated by movement.

I find a quiet corner, kick up my feet, and 2 hours pass.

Freja eventually shows her face and either hides or logs out almost immediately. All I know is that I fail to track her at least 10 times in a row before she pops out again, takes a few steps, and dissappears again. I fail to track her another 7 times before Tina Tink (Freja's NEW2 alter ego) pops through one of the teleporters in the courtyard. She makes her way to the inner keep. I wait. She takes a few more steps. And I wait. She waits. And I wait some more before I make my move.

I must have set off 2 cat statues as I get in close to peek inside her backpack. I spot a fancy looking "lesser artifact" bow (this type of artifact is new to me), a Bow of the Juka King, and a set of imbued skill jewelry. Luckily for me, she subscrbied to the pack rat school of home decorating and there was plenty of clutter to hide a tiny little ferret.

The plan was simple.

Change into a ferret, go for the lesser artifact bow, and then wait an uncomfortable second or two. (If nothing else, the bow would be mine.) At this point, either she would ban me/freak out/switch characters and attack me or my she wouldn't move a muscle and the smile on my face would grow from ear-to-ear.

I make my move and take the bow.

I wait.

And wait.

And nothing.

Next I go for the bracelet.

I wait.

And wait.

And... she takes one step to the left, turns, and speaks, "welcome here."

Not attacking me? Not banning me?

I take a step to the left in pursuit. She takes two steps to the right and turns. "long time" she says as I go in for the ring. Only the Bow of the Juka King was left, but after 3 steals and my cover already blow, I think I've overstayed my welcome. I hide, pop out of the castle, and break for it going southeast. Ready to go home and call this one a win, I round the corner of a tower and Lord Jack Cordwood rudely interrupts my victory dance and insists I take a Safe Haven souvenir from him as well.

(If you insist.)

As he's busy fighting off a Dark Wisp (and shopping outside of Freja's castle?), I make my move on a fancy bow and run off with him in delayed pursuit. And with that, I head back home and tally up my booty:


'Til next time!

-Chad Sexington

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