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Episode 276: The Great Turkey Invasion

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Hail friends,

Public Posting by Lord Dog (of the Misfit Alliance):
we killed a few turkeys. can discord them and then get 2 to fight each other. I also killed with archer. They teleport you to them in certain cases like when their pathfinding tells them they cant get to you. I estimated hit points at 30,000 they are weakest against cold. when killed you get a 1/3 map or a full map. its hugh about the size of vesper in the map view so you dont need to look at small areas but large areas. you get a brush from wilson in moonglow zoo. tell him brush, its timered.

use brush on map and then ground and when close it tells you so. once within around 8 steps or so a nest will appear and it is on a timer. the nest has cornacopia which gives 10 items (10 charges) of which is food and some random food deco (i think) I got normal food and 1 stalk of corn that i couldnt eat but looked like deco. also a feather that works like a smoke bomb then disappears.

there are 3 eggs there and the last one I did had 2 giant eggs and 1 normal one. I could double click the 2 giant ones and break them. the last egg i could not figure out how to get. (blue crystals?) again nest is on timer so be quick about it.

The turkeys have invaded Sosaria (along with their limited-time-offer seasonal event items) and I wasn't going to miss out. I spend the better part of the next hour roaming all of the untouched places of the world. The turkeys spawn everywhere and everywhere I'd be. Then again, with at least 3 giant turkeys in Barter Town at any one time, this place seemed to be the perfect bait.

After the first of my rounds, I find some company back in town.

(Just a pair of jester's-hat-wearing citizens.)

(I'd introduce myself, but there were more important matters at hand.)

Cardimz shuttles his well earned ore back and forth to The Forgery and Carhartt takes a tour around town. With two citizens and giant birds everywhere (as bait), I wait.

No one comes.

Back at it again, patrolling the lowest lows down and around Trinsic to the farthest reaches north and east, out and beyond Justice Isle. With the turkeys everywhere, I hit all the places where the chances of running into other adventurers would be slim. (I hit all the places I would go if I were Lord Dog and friends.)

--Of course, there are other schools of thought when it comes to turkey hunting.

For example, you could always just show up on the door steps of a town of thieves -- the same thieves who are criss-crossing the world, looking for you.

(Who am I to judge the turkey hunting tactics of turkey hunting experts...?)


Lady Melehan? Lord Dog?? The rat guy, you say...?


The Misfit Alliance!

An alliance of nearly a dozen guilds consisting of usually, but not exclusively, solo characters. Along with them came Lord Dog, the turkey expert himself.

Turkeys would be dropping soon. I put the word out to anyone listening, but only Jareth responds.

(He'd have to do.)

(Jareth was on the way and I soon see what I like.)


My cover was blown and there was more to be had.

The good thing about blown cover is that all the worries about being overly-stealthy soon evaporate. Stealth goes out the window and it becomes a mad dash to grab as much loot as possible before whoever you're stalking moves on to other, less thief-infested-waters.

*peeks behind tree*

(What's this?)

(Emergency regs?)

(I thank thee.)

With all the action conveniently located in our backyard, securing the goods wasn't a problem. Back with the Misfits, it looked like the turkeys were doing a lot more damage than I ever would. Misfit bodies were dropping left and right (and I'd happily take advantage of the chaos).

Only Lady Melehan had anything worth stealing and it was soon obvious (with all the dead bodies) that only Lord Dog and T'Challa were worth looting.

The turkeys were going down and we had to make our move soon.

I approach from the left and Jareth approaches from the right.

Lord Dog gets turkey-teleportered and drops (due to turkey-terror), running for his life.

Jareth gets to the body first, I swing around second, and it looked like today I was going to be the decoy and he was going to be the thief. My name flashes as I pop open Lord Dog's corpse and T'Challa sicks his black pony on my huge neon target. (They always go for me first... for some reason.)

*confused face*

I die an embarrassing death and Jareth (who was looting longer) makes a clean get-a-way.

*high five*

(With all the action conveniently located in our backyard, re-equipping fresh IDOC armor wasn't a problem.)

The first turkey goes down and the maps were there for the taking.

The second turkey goes down and the turkey farmers hand over the goods.

Jareth makes one last (heroic) effort...

...and soon, they're gone.

They leave a third turkey to live another day and I guess they had enough.


Map Fragments and Full Maps were had by all.

(I call it a win.)

(Oh yeah, and this stuff.)

--But I wasn't done yet. I might as well see this through to the end.

*heads off to the Moonglow Zoo*

*looks at Ornithologist's map*

*runs off to the outskirts of Skara Brae*

*uses Lord Dog's own step-by-step instructions for my own evil purposes*


And thus, The Great Turkey Invasion came to an end. The citizens were horrified, the turkeys were sad, and the Misfits just laughed and laughed while stuffing their faces. Barter Town was never the same again.

*solemnly closes book*

*puts away hilarious historical records*

'Til next time!

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