It was a rather slow evening and getting late. I had finished wandering my favorite places, and had not seen anyone. I decided to check out Luna before calling it a night.
…
No one.
…This was my last act of desperation. Camping a moongate for anyone, anything that slightly interests me. With some time to spare I decided to check the local newspaper.
An auctioneer advertising his services as a middle-man. I pity the fools who resort to paying him a commission to sell their wares. Saturday is the 7th anyway… it must have been the editors day off.
I put down my paper. Growing restless before returning home empty handed again, I walk about Luna once more and see a fellow carrying a +12 Ninitsu bracelet inside the bank.
This was going to be my prize for the night.
I can walk proudly into my house once more.
And just like that it was over…Failure seems to be on my side tonight. On my way to Jhelom to be born again I saw much more promising victims, including that shady auctioneer Fanta.
Fanta.
It came to me in a brilliant flash of light as I opened my eyes. I must work quickly. Without even bothering to dress myself I ran back quickly to catch this man. I asked him to join my party and inquired about his auction. He said that he was going to bed soon and needed any saleable items quickly.
I ran as fast as I could to my humble home.The humiliation of being naked did not bother me, my mind was working to quickly.
I had two Stuffy Dwagons, a Stuffy Bear, three Skeleton statuettes for sale and a couple of other trinkets. Nobody had been interested before when I inquired for buyers. Worthless trash from past IDOCs I had scavenged in my youth, I could not even sell them for 50k gold apiece.
They would be interested this time. Very interested.
Fanta mentions that sometimes people can’t afford to buy the animals as a collection when I make the request.
Sweeney: Leave that to me.
He dares to question my motives, my honor? I gather the items and head to the auctioneer’s house.
I needed a blood oath from this untrusting businessman.He agreed. As long as he gets his cut he will do almost anything.
I let him know his first impression of me was correct.Sweeney: I’m about to go on a buying spree. If you check the local paper when you wake up, do not say a word. Your oath to the almighty gold coin is your bond.
Fanta: Ok.I bade him good night and made my way to the newspaper. I took out an ad for a small fee.
I had no zoo, but such things are only relevant if the ads are paid by the letter. Luckily these advertisements are not.
The overnight edition went out for its delivery, and I was too weary to make the journey all the way home. I spent a few coins and rented a room at the Luna Inn.
The next morning I woke up earlier than usual, anticipation does these kinds of things. I ran out of my room and quickly picked up the morning paper. Quickly flipping to the advertising section, I was horrified...Was my plan that obvious? Did that dubious middleman break his blood oath?
I had to think. I went to my throne room.Everything was ruined. My auction items would fetch a paltry sum of gold. I questioned my abilities.
I thought about becoming a lumberjack like my uncle. It’s impossible to screw things up when you’re a lumberjack. Swing an axe and earn a decent living through tedious and monotonous labor.
The day came and went; the auction began and ended. And I remained on my throne pondering my life, speaking to no one. Then I had a realization…
I hate chopping wood.
The next day I found the shady businessman and received a check for 660k in gold for my animals. It was a grand plan.
-Sweeney