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Episode 0063: Way Too Easy

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As I peer at the sun just emerging from the horizon I realise just how early it is.

I should still be in a drink and sex induced coma....

However today I had a reason for waking up so damn early......



Yesterday found me at an idoc in fel, made me richer then I could have though with only 20minutes work and brought an addiction that I never thought I would suffer from.........IDOCs!

I have taken to checking houses as I make me way round fel, now the evil and sinister IDOC house placing slaves have been destroyed it is a fair competition!

It may not be as exciting as stealing, it may not give as much glory, but it was easy and it was mine.....

It takes a small amount of time and what topped me over the edge is the stuff....

It was theirs! And I want it to be mine!


Last night just before I had chance to return to my new and clean house with my clean sheets....

*Doubts they will be clean long*

I found something exciting!

So I found myself sitting on a log just next to my exciting find and wrapping myself in the shadows to keep warm.


When I woke up the next morning I knew Iíd made a good choice, but the question I had to ask myself is was it worth missing out on that skinny barmaid with the 'oh to big teeth' that I had plans for in the night?

I arrange to meet Blind Man at my house and we go to watch and wait as the excitement builds.


Items fall from the sky and scatter.....

Me and Blind Search through it all, removing anything of value...
Easy loot...

'Sweet merciful God, Bout Bloody Time!' I cry as I finally pass the 60,000 point mark

The Dragon's head is available......

And More!

However I canít help getting that familiar feeling that it was too easy to be too much fun....

So I leave the Dragon's Head behind and set out for adventure of the murderous and sneaky kind!

*Can this be real? Am I dreaming?*

*Has Tracks owner really sent him back to the place where he died by the hands of A Blind Man not 2 days gone?*

'Are you crazy?' I asked him

'If you master asked you to jump off this mountain and land in a field of lubed dildos would you do it?' I enquired

*slightly sexually aroused*

'You know I could take your life, loot your body and be out of here before you could blink donít you?!!' I scream at his lifeless and slightly off putting face

*time for this slave and his master to learn not to tempt THIEF*

If I find you there again track I will require 10K or I shall smite you again!

After my good deed..

*feels likes heís done something good for the Minoc community*

I head towards my old hunting round of Fel Yew to see what goodies my fellow gaters had this afternoon.....

Nada, nothing and useless sweet jack all....

I wonder around for a while, I sit at Brit bank for an hour with no lead...... to luna!.... useless!

But as I sit at Luna I do hear an interesting conversation, apparently someone is giving 25k point collection tickets out at Brit castle!

*Tucks Tail between buttcheeks to make him more aerodynamic so he can run his bollocks off*

I got there as quick as I could, and found..... a Quest.....

Could the gods really be stupid enough to make it that easy to get these points now after so many people turned in their hard earn goods for pittance?

I had to find out so I completed the quest......

Yes they could, absolute cretins that The Gods are they made this collection point thing thatís been driving me crazy for 2 weeks so easy i went out with every char I own (including my crafters) and completed the quest in 2 hours (and for 25 chars that isnít bad) and got a total of 625,000 collection points.

*flips bird to The Gods*

So itís been a very trammy day, no steals at all however the age of Dragon's head envy is sadly at an end.

However I did get a bigger house

Thatís right ladies and gents the THIEF guild house has moved!

My Dragons Head

My Golden Shower

My Horse Barding

And a few other bits

So I got everything I ever wanted today!

A Bigger house! My Dragon's Head! And tonnes of new nice items.

But am I happy?

Hell No!

Why u ask?

Because they werenít someone elseís before I made them mine!

Enough of this trammy stuff, next time I swear back to real thievery!

Not even going to consider a Huzzah! I donít deserve itÖÖ.

-Tony Emerald

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