Believe it or not, some of the crankier citizens of my realm are whining more than usual that they don’t get enough free stuff. Obviously, they feel I don’t tax the wealthier citizens of the realm enough. Let’s be honest, Evil Lord SMuRFY taxes plenty, but its my stuff and I’m not sharing a dang thing!
I was busy discussing the finer points of my domestic and foreign policies with some of Skara Brae’s local nay sayers.While continuing my campaign of restoring order to the realm, I came across someone that had apparently not received the memo about the new tax regime.
I decided to investigate Miss Kaisa further to determine if she qualified for my new “progressive income tax”(Allow me to elaborate in case you are not aware, pursuant to a new law, I will be progressively taxing more of peoples’ income).
I approached the mark.. err.. citizen… and performed the standard audit procedures of snooping about in her “brown container”::GASP::
This no-good tax evading wretched wench was actually smuggling the voice of my predecessor!
“The nerve! How dare she try to stifle that dead bum’s opinions! He’s being repressed!”
I knew immediately, I had to protect the freedom of a dead monarch’s speech in Sosaria or else the masses would have real problems.::YOINK!::
Now, I know you probably noticed that she has another fallen monarch’s opinion in her bag.. And you’re probably shocked that I’m not protecting another dead guy’s opinions. You might even be questioning my reign.
First, I will happily discuss the merits of my reign with anyone, as you can see above.
And Second….::YOINK!::
Freedom of a dead monarch’s speech is important in my Kingdom and I’ll be damned if I have the likes of YOU slandering my reign! ^_-
And like the excellent diplomat and statesman that I am, I thanked the citizen for her contribution to my bank balan… ermm… society!And because I’m a gentleman, I left Miss Kaisa to her own devices….
Until I saw her five minutes later and decided that “society” needs her sword too…::YOINK!::
Next time, Pay Your Taxes!
And say thank you when you contribute to “society,” after all, you do owe me.. erm… “US” for your prosperity.
-Evil Lord SMuRFY,
The King of Thieves, and Protector of Dead Monarch’s Right to Free Speech