Hail friends,
It's funny how much people are offended by a scoundrel. They're quick bemoan our presence at every opportunity. "Stealing is wrong" they say... and yet they willingly look the other way and hand over their hard earned gold when our services are needed most -- the scrolls aren't going to steal themselves.I thank thee.
I bank my gold and head to the gate. And where would my destination be this time? I decided to take a break from my latest food poisoning expedition...
Yeah... let's see how long that lasts. ^^
(What's this?)A damsel in distress!
Coco comes to her rescue.
"And your gloves are inside." he says as he drops a bag on the floor. He says this as I scoop it up.I drive in and find a few hundred of each magery & necro reagent and a few other trinkets. I throw them in my bank box and head to Yew.
(She had to have died somewhere.)I find a pair of lovers chatting it up as Misty joins the group. I snoop them all but the loot is underwhelming.
Where was the bloody battle? Where was the culprit of this latest murder? Where was the careless man, too full of himself to notice the uninsured treasure in his pack and the very small thief behind him??
I put my nose to the air and go where the wind takes me.
(What's this?)(A clue.)
If I were a pot guzzling, wood chopping, crossbow crafting murderer... where would I be?
I trek onward and continue to the west and find myself in the middle of town square of Yew standing at the gate of land of the elves. Yew may be empty but the entrance to Heartwood was before me.
I step forward.(Gotcha.)
I snoop the familiar looking man with an even more familiar sounding name.(Oh him.)
An empty pack. I creep around him and continue onward.I test their auto-reveal once more and take my chances.
Nothing too exciting except a throw-a-way axe for cutting wood. I creep around him and continue onward.
(Jackpot.)
Doer!
A man so great, he doesn't need to wear protective armor! A man so tough, it doesn't matter that he has a rediculous name! A man of the people. A man of many talents. And a man who was going to be my entertainment for this evening.
Satisfied with all the information I could soak up from afar, I go in for a closer look.
I creep around to the north. I step to the right. I step towards him, around the table, and just as I'm about to reach the promised land and the moment where I needed luck on my side the most... my luck runs out and I am revealed.
I quickly hide.I scan his (many) belongings and find no runic fletchers kits or saws to be found. He eventually hides. Spider comes into view and I creep down around and out.
What to do? Oh, what to do?
I take a strole around and I take my time. These three and me and no one else to be found.
I leave to double check the area and Spider & Onyx hand me my opportunity.
I tried to fight it. I tried to resist it. But this was too good an opportunity to pass up.
The wheels in my head keep turning and to the Bank of Yew I go!
I put my plan into action.With my tastey peach already in my pack, I stock up on a few more goodies. I pass on the blessed Christmas candy this time around. The candy wouldn't do for what I had in mind. A tastey peach, some grapes, and a celebratory ham. How could he resist?
If I know human nature (and I think I do), this was going to be good.
I head back to find a invisible fletcher fletching away with a lone visible beetle and a pair of missing pack llamas. (A lone beetle would do for what I had in mind.) The plan was simple:
Position myself to the south, throw a deadly poisonous shuriken to the beetle, let myself get guard whacked, watch the invisible fletcher pop out of his safety, watch him get a good chuckle as he would check my corpse and munch on his ill-gotten gains. It would be my poisonous food versus his armor-less body.
(No one can resist a tastey treat... especially on a field of victory.)
I throw the shuriken and watch hijinx ensue.I wait... and wait... and the fletcher remains hidden! Spider and Onyx come running to the beetle's rescue (but they're much too late).
They run towards me...
...and past me!
(Perhaps I should have changed to human form.)
My lifeless wolf body blends with the rug as they search for the beetle killing thief.
(I'm right here!)
They're about to leave when the thief killing guard teleports away.
Onyx lets his curiosity get the best of him. He spots my corpse, finds the food, and begins his victory feast. You foolish man...He backs up in pain. I get him to half-life in the time that it takes him to get a couple steps in the direction of his buddies. But alas... they come to his aid.
(Damn.)A valiant effort. The plan was sound... but the calvalry had arrived. That's how this story ends, and yet my quest is far from over.
(The food isn't going to poison itself.)
The money shot is coming. I wonder who it's going to be.
'Til next time!