Home | Forums

Episode 069: GM Visrias

First | Previous Episode Index Next | Latest


a prearranged combat between two persons, fought with deadly weapons according to an accepted code of procedure, esp. to settle a private quarrel.

Buc's Den.

Home of ne'er-do-wells, bums, scum, good-for-nothings, and scoundrels. Home to prostitues (for those who can pay), escorts (for those who love to pay), and a plethoral of sluts (for the rest of us). A butcher, a baker, and a candlestick maker!

(My kind of town.)

Five mugs of ale and two shots of today's special later, I find myself face down in the jungle close-by.


(What's this?)


Invisible! I stare into his direction and see nothing. I rub my eyes, and again nothing.


"An Lor Xen!"
"An Lor Xen!"
"An Lor Xen!"

I can hear in the distance. I grasp a shuriken and throw it in his direction.

"Target cannot be seen."

A puzzle! Nay! A challenege!


I circle around and knock on wood looking for a hollow tree. I check the bushes for a secret lever. I un-twine my mental integrals and pull out my hair. NOTHING! I get on my hands & knees and yell out to the heavens!

A moment passes. Then another. And then... my true foe dares to show his face.

GM Visrias!

Known as the face-less, the shame-less, and simply "The Question" to some. Referred to only as "The Riddler" to those who's lives he's already broken. Those who's will he's already taken away.

I call him Smelly (for reasons I'll disclose at a later date).

Why this one!? Why not one of the cooler gods? He's no GM Sakinthlas. Pffft... he's not even EARepWilson.

For shame.

He tries to trick me with his double talk, but I see through the lies. My sense of vision reaches past the haze. (But my sense of smell falls victim to the musk!)

And yet through all the false-truths and through all the innapropriate sexual innuendo, there was still the need to listen! GM Visrias didn't just beat your soul down into tofu just to end it... no, not this one. GM Visrias like to toy with his prey, he enjoyed giving his victims opportunity for success. A small glimer, a speck of light off in the distance of the blackened void...

...just to be there at the end when you come up short, to laugh in your face (and take screenshots!)

You sick bastard.

The gauntlet has been thrown. His challenge is flung in my face, like unwanted coconut pie. Coconut pie in the face. And not in the good way. Yes, that's right. Up the nostrils.


*pumps fist*


He only responds with false pleasantries and pseudo upside-down mockery. I match him blow-for-blow.

Smelly: I'm afraid not.
Smelly: Is there anthing else I can assist you with before I go?

"BIG PLANS!" I say.

*streches arms out wide*

He leaves me the clues with expectations of defeat. I tell Smelly, "Good day!" and go on my way. "Best of luck" he says. (And I'm pretty sure he insulted my mother.)

I search and search for this entrance that is not there. I steal a map from the local map maker. (In this town, it would be rude of me not to.)

The lesser demons that were (obvious) sent by Smelly himself send me in wrong directions:
"Go to the Thief's Guilde house, near the bridge. In the back room you will see a "trap door" on the floor, dbl click it.." They would tell me, then laugh in my face.

"I just searched the entirity of the tunnels... and no way to get down there without a rune..." They would lie to me, just to watch me fail.
Then finally one good semaritan would show me the way. (What's he doing here? He must be lost.)
"I know you can enter the tunnels near where the server up Rocks spawn. Its only a few steps around it. i know i fell in many times when i wass getting ready to try to grab the rocks at server up."
He hands me a map. I pick up a sextant. And hand-over-foot, I get what's coming to me.


I'm getting close now. But there must be one final twist. One final fight.

If I know GM Visrias (and I think I do), one last obstacle would be here to block my path. I gather myself, ground my feet, and march onward.

I find Postcount alone by his lonesome, still chanting his hypnotic melody. I check his packs for loot, but the pickings are slim. I check again, find what I like, see through Smelly's riddles, take out my dagger, and stab my way to victory (the best way to victory!).

I kneel down to his corpse and claim my illusionist disguise & my 100% LRC suit! I leave Postcount a warning for himself and a message for his master:

I crawl my way out of the caves and return home a conquering hero.

I look forward to the next time we cross paths. Until then, I expect my magnificent robe hand washed by beautiful women before you bring it over.

Round 1: Chad Sexington

'Til next time!

First | Previous Episode Index Next | Latest

Copyright © 2007 uothief.com All Rights Reserved