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Episode 047: Said the Joker to the Thief

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Hail friends,

They promised me glory! They promised! What a fool I am to believe their lies! The undying burning of my humongous pride! The uselessness that has become myself!

They say every time you steal from a innocent blue, the God of Forgiveness sheds a single tear. I tell myself they are only tears. I can lie to myself all I want, but in my heart I know the truth...

...The gods urinate on me once again.

Slim pickings.

I take what I can... while the real treasures taunt me from a distance.

News has reached my ear of great Scrolls of Alacrity soon to be bestowed upon out great land. A new treasure to quench my bottomless appetite for glory. But not unto my bussom this great gift would not be granted. To another bussom the gods would favor -- they bestow this great prize directly in the middle of the City of Compassion!

I curse the Quantum Realm! Into enemy territory I must go.

I prepare. I wait. And the day soon comes.

A few members of /US\ were the first to infiltrate their loose (and rather pathetic) defenses.

A strange smattering of warriors who command even stranger monsters now battle new and disgusting creatures. With them, they carry odd new items... sitting there for the taking. Sitting there, unable to be taken.

Desert nomads even get their fill.

And the Quantum Realm finally makes their appearance. Battling back the foes of Compassion. (And letting me get in close in the process.)

Yet... no prize. No scrolls. No hope.

They leave...

...and I wait.

Many others come and go. And yet...

...I wait.

Perhaps the Mutineers would have better luck (for us both).

...it's not a scroll they present me with...

...but at this point I'll take whatever I can get! An odd looking Wrist Watch. A piece of trash? Yes. But I'm sure it's valuable to someone. (And that's all that counts.)

I ready myself to make my move.

The time comes...

"I have to go eat dinner." The female mage announces, "Val Rel Por!" ...and I strike!

I run as fast as my wolf legs will take me. The sand squishing inbetween my toes. The warm desert sand slowing my movement. I take it and I don't look back. I laugh as I run. I laugh while I slow my pace when I'm finally at a safe distance. I check my pack... and...

...and the gods laugh back at me.

I return some time later, but my luck does not improve.


The "juice of the gods" transforms from a light sprinkle to a pouring rain. I leave to gather my thoughts and dignity. I do what any other sosarian who's lost all hope would do -- I build a trap made of solid gold!

(No one can resist gold.)

Dusty Britches is the first to fall for my trap.

I return to find him still mezmorized by the shiney metal.

Wait a second... if one mound of gold will attract one fly to my web...


*does math*

...a massive river of gold will attract ten flies multiplied by thrice the treasure, double the glory!

I sit. I wait. And I dream sweet dreams of scrolls that have yet to be mine.

*sad face*

'Til next time!

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