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Episode 045: "I could if I wanted to, but I don't wanna." - midiguru

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Hail friends,

Translation: "I could if I wanted to, but I don't wanna."

The nay-sayers are out in force tonight and with air tight arguments indeed! I've become dizzy with confusion. My sense of time has become skewed as of late. Months have turned into days. For it seems like I've gotten a "good steal" every other day. ^^

This night I'm a thief with a purpose: To steal the greatest item that's ever graced this wonderous land. Tonight I'll have the greatest steal in the history of stolen items and this night I'll put all the nay-sayers to rest.

*pumps fist*

I stray from the worn and beaten path. To uncharted territory I go, to seek out treasures that other thieves only dream of.

*wets pants*

Through the dense foliage I trot and in the distance something catches my eye. A diligent vendor his conscientious master busily scampering about.

HorusHawk soon leaves my field of vision so I do the only neighborly thing I know how: I check his locks. (Someone may break in!)


I check the the barrels and chests in the yard.

(All secure.)

I check the pentagrams for hidden teleportation tiles.

(None to be found.)

With only one way in and one way out, the mouse has ran himself into a corner! I lay in wait with the cover of the natural vines to help hide my presence -- ready to pounce. He recalls away.


And then he returns.

From his recall location he approaches the door. And when he comes close enough I pop open his pack. I hurriedly sift through his items. They would be mine! All mine!

Instead of opening the door, he takes a left turn, then a right... and teleports into his house.





Ok, so the mouse was more clever than I first gave him credit for. As the challenge of the journey rises, so does the reward. All the more glorious this steal would be!

...but the teleporter was to the third floor of his (well decorated) house. Surely he would need something from the first floor! I decide to stick around and wait for Horus to make a mistake.

Moments later he recalls away. Moments later he returns.


The scent from his glory-filled candles fill the room. I take in a deep breath and fill my lungs and taste the glory on my lips. Horus runs up the stairs to the left and I begin checking out any unsecure items on the first. Chest after chest, my curious fingers begin to work.

I step to the right... and am revealed!

His aura from the 2nd floor has reached me on the 1st! (Stupid mistake.)

Like a wave of false euphoria my never-ending high dives into a bottom-less low.

The game was up. My journey ends here. My presence has become known as I pop out of hiding and my name is displayed like a giant neon sign. I leave the house wiping my pathetic tears from my face. Some reach my mouth. (Salty.)


"How would I secure the greatest steal of all time if I couldn't even side-step an unsuspecting merchant?" I ponder.

I go to Brit Gate to cheer myself up.

But not even a Skull of Pain would release me from my woes. The other five people must not like her very much. They didn't even call guards.

(It must be her massive amounts of cooties. ^^)

But it can't end like this! I pick myself up by my boot straps and march myself back to my latest failure. Every time I get knocked down it just ups the ante one more peg.

I approach from the south and find Horus right where I left him.

I wait and wait. And then I enter.

I watch and watch. He's looking for something but can't find what he needs.

From container to secure container he searches...

...and I'm two steps behind, positioned for his return.

And he's always 1 tile too far! Unable to find the item he wants (the item we want) he move to the second floor...

...and so do I.

Dead end. Now locked behind a second set of of inner door. I don't bother testing the locks. An invisible thief is over-looked by many. But a suspicious door opening and closing is much too much. Especially for one such as this.

I wait.

Two doors. One to the left and one to the right and he'd have to pass through one.

I pick the left.

At this point I ask myself one question that many wise, powerful, and prominent men have asked themselves in character defining moments that color them for the rest of their lives. Asked by many through the years, and will again be asked for many years to come:

"Is he just fucking with me?"

He recalls away, unfortunately for him humans are creatures of habbit and he was no different. I choose a position where I suspected he would be.

I choose correctly and open his pack.


You've got to be kidding.


He casts invisibility on himself in the corner of his house. (A sign that he is ready to day dream.)

I've had enough. I consider just robbing him blind, but for his one... ...I break in my new sword.

I leave nothing behind. (I even take his skirt. ^^)

For my troubles I'm thanked with 100 of each reg, handfuls of orange and purple petals, hundreds of bandages, a stack of gold coins, and a smile on my face.

And in my victory... isn't it ultimate failure? There was no grand treasure at the end of the tunnel. Were the nay-sayers right all along?

A troubling thought indeed.

Of course they could just be talking out of their asses with over-exaggurations.

(a.k.a. More for me.)

'Til next time!

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