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Episode 044: Everyone dies but not everyone truly lives.

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Hail friends,



*ears perk up*

Only visible for a fraction of a second, but I know he was there. He had to be there.

Just enough time to take a good look as his person and see the axe weilding... warrior...? No, not this one. I remain steadfast and await his return.

He never shows.

My poisonous blade at the ready and my thirst for blood has yet to be quenched. But he never shows.

Apostle may have fled from the scene but his tracks have left too many clues to the treasure right before my eyes. There was one way to find out if my hunch was right. I hire the services of a local lumberjack and lay claim to my prize!

I claim this majestic tree for myself.

Yet, in my joy I feel sadness.

"Chopping frostwood during a fullmoon meant bad luck for an eternity, unless a virgin pure of mind, body, and soul was sacrificed to the Blood God before the night was spent." The confused old man said in a spooky voice while waving his hands around mysteriously.

"Virgins!" I laugh.

"Virgins." He nods.

"Virgins...?" I inquire.

"Virgins." He affirms.

It had to be a virgin! A rare specimen indeed! I've heard tales of these so-called maidens, but always passed them off as myth. As legend. Passed them off as a running joke of the gods (like ninjas, samurai, and elves!). Non-sense!

With my stock of luck running dangerously low these days, I take no chances. I put my nose to the air and follow the clues presented before me.

This "frostwood" could only mean one thing.

To Ice Dungeon I go.

(What's this?)

*sniff sniff*

What's that smell? Familiar, but too faint to put my finger on it. Deep into the icey pits I go. No turning back. No surrender.

Lady Nicolas!

It hits me like a wall of musk. A cocktail of six different STDs infecting me just by being in her presence. A virgin, she was not.

No powder?

My luck already showing no mercy! I had to act quickly. As swiftly as my feet would take me, I had to find this sex-less oddity. This pure maiden of the east. One who has not felt the pleasures of the flesh!


My virgin detector explodes as I approach his vicinity. The Ice Elementals & Frost Spiders are first to strike.

I study my foe, prepare my Death Strike, and wait for that perfect moment. And when that moment comes -- I strike!






Between me and the White Wyrm, five times we miss! He springs to life and makes an S-turn around the corner.


Drowning in bad luck, I find it hard to breath. I gasp for air, wail, call out, and reach for a savior that is not there. And in my darkest moment...

...he returns to do combat with the mighty wyrm once again!

No mistakes this time. I open with a Deadly Poisonous Shuriken as his life runs low and prepare my killing blow.

He turns to his left and is met by the mighty wyrm hot on his tail. I go to the right and wait for him at the narrow exit. Now with only a sliver of life left and the poison still running through his veins, the wyrm does its job well and steers him into my trap.

I dress him in the prettiest dress I can find.

"Oh ye great Blood God, forgive my ignorance and take this virgin as payment!"

Needless to say, he accepts.

(I add Apostle's generous donation to my ever growing rune library.)

'Til next time!

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