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Episode 039: No Shame for the Wicked

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Hail friends,

I recieve word that a red is killing people, resurrecting them, then demanding Books of Truth from the innocent blues. In turn, they would be granted the right for use of the dungeon and a "promise of protection."

To Dungeon Shame I go!

I go to show that a promise is only worth as much as the person who gives it.

I find this murderous red that attempts to uphold her "protection."

Sir tdog! The one that slipped through my fingers at the entrance of Fire Dungeon. Sir tdog was not having a good day. And truth to tell, it's about to get a hell of a lot worse.

I rob him of his prize. I rob him of the item that would earn his protection.

But I've come to proove a point.

As smuggly as I can belch out, "Where's your protection now!?" I challenge him to best me in this battle of words.

"You're not as funny you think you are." He says, "Plus, you're blantantly homophobic, apparently have problems with women, and possibly have some type of erectile dis-fuction."



(Ok, you win.)

With my feelings hurt, my homophobia alarms on full alert, and my apparent loss at this duel of words, I do the only thing me and my flaccid penis know how.

With my enemy cornered and with no where to run, I fell my enemy in spite of his protection.

But I am not without heart. I resurrect him after we negotiate terms.

He pops back to life and honors his end of the terms:

"You're the funniest person that I've ever met, you have many gay friends, and you have sex with women often." He admits, "Plus, your penis is bigger than mine."


I leave sir tdog to his own devices and wander further down this shame-less dungeon.

I pick up a scent.

(Someone else is rustling about.)

Kayla Lynn.

I'm afraid your protection money is past due. ^^

I wait. I watch.

A bardic mage. A strange but powerful hybrid. She charms the monsters with her lute at will. She's very good at the bardic dance, but unfortunately I also know the steps. I wait for those magical words.

"Vas Corp Por!" She says.

With her concentration focused and frozen in paralysis, I make my move and there's nothing she can do about it.

Content with my loot and performance this day, I begin the long march to the exit of this cave when Smeagol has a stroke of brilliance:

I can't resist.

"I will get more."

I comfort him and tell him Akasha intends to keep her promise once the books are collected. He nods and says he'll get the books just as he promised.

I look forward to concluding this transaction on behalf of Akasha.

(Just as I promised.)

(Now where did all my gay friends go? It's hard to see from behind my huge penis.)

'Til next time!

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