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Episode 038: Night of the Ferret

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Hail friends,

Rumors have reached my ear that this quest for the Books of Truth may soon be at an end. Not that I particularly care for the truth, but you know what they say: "One man's truth is another man's treasure." ...Or was it another man's treachery?


Whatever it was I'm sure it was told by a woman; which means it can't be trusted, is probably a little bitchy, and is facinated with very tiny boxes that are too small to hold anything practical (and evil!). To whatever end this news may lead me, the course still remains the same: I must search for these so-called books of so-called truth and I must do it now.

This tale begins in the halls of Despise.

After scouting out the surrounding area all I find are stray WtF? members looking for a fight and a lone necromancer in the halls of Fire fighting the unnatural legions of the Abyss. But WtF? members rarely have good loot worth stealing and I was not in the mood to fend off Fire Gargoyles & Succubi. No, this night the Books of Truth would be mine.

And this time I wouldn't be going home empty handed.

What's this?

A lone vampire in very fine armor battling wave after wave of ettins. Interesting.

I move in for a closer look. Knee deep in ettin corpses I move in for a closer look.

This must be a trap! An ambush! An unnecessary series of shinanigans!

It can't be this easy...? With the (obvious) trap before me, I'm inclined to not play poppyseeds' game. Tonight we'll be playing mine.

*takes out secret weapon*

poppyseeds trots around in his own personal (unwarrented) safety.

I scramble with my very tiny legs. I climb and claw my way through the corpses with my very tiny paws. And now face deep in ogre corpses I move in for a closer look and seize my prize.

I don't move a muscle.

The ettin corpses conceal my tiny body better than a shroud of stealth ever could.

Curious this one. Distracted? Possibly. The vampire continues to battle unaware of the missing book. I decide to stick around and see what other treasures this one will bring me.


That magical jingle. Another book has been discovered! And why oh why would these ettins care for the truth as to carry these cumbersome books in the first place? (Another result of femenine mechinations no doubt.)

I scurry, scamper, and postulate as I move in to claim my prize.


The fool! Day dreaming? Twiddling his thumbs? After a moment he pops to life, but not to claim his book. He move along to another batch of ettins! Vampires are strange beings indeed.

Hand-over-foot, my tiny paws work as fast as they can. Corpses above and beneath me, I search.

Again, the magical chime echoes in through the halls. Again, I inspect my prey.

And again, he ingores the magical melody!

And then at once. He goes silent.

A minute passes. Then two.

Perhaps undead powers that are beyond my comprehension speak to him now and he is in communion with his bretheren as I speak! Perhaps he is now calling forth a gathering of all the vampires who walk this earth to this very location to discuss their plans for world domination! Perhaps it was all a trick after all! Perhaps I've over stayed my welcome, tested my luck once too many and should leave this place while I still can!

Whatever it is one thing's for certain: I must rid myself of all this garlic hanging from my neck, remove all these crosses stuffed in my pants, and whatever I'm to do I must do it now!

(How else will I move unhindered?)

Not looting armor, nor gold, nor books, I've mis-judged this vampire all along. He isn't in search of any treasure this world possesses. He's (obviously) tortured by his immortal existance and only wishes that someone -- ANYONE -- out there could release him from his waking slumber.

You're in luck my undead friend! ^^

Don't resist it! Walk into the light!

Stubborn until his last breath.

Even from the brink of death he recovers!

I move to Plan B.


Disarmed, bleeding, and poisoned, I release him from this world.

Finally, my noble lord, you may rest.

(You're welcome.)

'Til next time!

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