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Episode 021: I swear I'll never go back.

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Something that restricts activity, expression, or progress; a restraint.

Trammel. The slightest mention of the name releases my bowels. The vibrant sun burns me like an ashen rain. The tulips and roses relentlessly watch me, study me, violate me. The chirping birds sing of my death in the trees above. There are evil's in this world that feluccans only find in their nightmares.

Today I set foot in the land I swore I would never again. Today I test fate's hand. Today I enter trammel, and I leave a marked man.

My fellow thief, Borgio, says he needs recall scrolls. There's only one vendor insane enough to carry them. Too millie's vendor we go.

We run as fast as we can. If he fell behind, he would be on his own.

After running for our lives, we finally make it to Millie's. So far so good. Then she enters.


One of the local savages! *panic*


::Jeez. Haven't you ever heard of asking nicely?::


After pissing my pants I hide, stealth away, and leave Borgio as a sacrifice for my escape.


I thought I had escaped her trammelian wrath. I was mistaken...

SKYFIRE: i hate u
SKYFIRE: i should kik u

CHAD YOU FOOL. Now you've done it! NOW YOU'VE DONE IT! SKYFIRE wasn't just a normal trammelian death dealer, she was part of THE CREWW. Feared by all who walk sosaria. Some call them the Devils of Trammel.

*looks around*

*changes underwear*

With The Creww after me, I needed to lay low for a while. I try to brush it off. I try to deny their power. I try to amuse my self at Buc's Den...

...I try.

*wipes sweat off forehead*

I tell myself the death of this fisherman will make it better. I take his jewelry & his riches. I scatter the rest along the road and bath in them in front of his lifeless eyes. I tell myself The Creww isn't real. I tell myself their exploits are only old wives tale, stories you tell children to frighten them at night.

...I tell myself this while looking over my shoulder.

While I'm busy positioning his body in an embarassing position, I remember the one thing that could save me!

It's said that they never forgive past sins... but even they obey the law of the land. And the law says life debts can be passed on to another, through the decree of the UO gods. (Doesn't everyone know the law?)

Decided by a duel of wits--Chess. The highest form of dueling. ^^

It didn't take long before an unsuspecting soul accepts my challenge. Sir Thomas III, make ready!

50k? SO BE IT.

::50k + a life debt.. sucker!::

In the shadows of a secluded alcove shall this mighty battle be waged!

The pieces are set, the lines are drawn, the battle begins!

Our minions, against their wishes, charge into battle. My palms begin to sweat. One-by-one my courageous warriors sacrifice themselves on my behalf--this is the thing legends are made of!

OH, after this day praises of the victor will ring throughout sosaria. One-hundred virgins will await them in the after-life. And to the loser, ever lasting shame!

Sir Thomas attempts to flank me from the west, but he leaves himself vulnerable from the east! My hands begin to tremble. I second guess every move. I feel SKYFIRE's eyes watching, waiting, willing me to make a wrong move.

It seemed like this battle just begun. And just like that...

Just as all my burdens begin to lift off my shoulders he yells, "rematch?"

GAH! He knows a thief can't refuse a challenge by a lesser man (Rule #87). Sir Thomas appears to be more worldly than I first thought. I must finish this quickly before SKYFIRE appears revealing my true nature.


*grabs a fresh pair of pants*

The opening volley of arrows from both sides slowed the action this round. (And one pawn refused to obey my initial commands. I had the bishops burn his wife alive and with orders to do what they must to his children... ^^) It wasn't long before my minions were banging at his gates yet again.

My horses started running wild--I think they were in heat.

I then turn to old faithful. A bob and a weave later, my queen puts on the charm and his king is hypnotized in her beauty--followed by a swift knee to his balls.

Sir Thomas' king, unsure if he can still bare children, surprisingly finds the courage to make one last stand!

But it was all in vain. His impotence stricken king finally perishes with a dagger to the crotch and a twist of the wrist.

...as for Sir Thomas III, I doubt anyone hear of him again. The Creww will not be gentle.


Better him than me.

Round 1: Chad Sexington


**Note: I'll never do another Trammel episode. I swear.

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