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Episode 0049: Adventures in Britain (Part I)

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Good morning friends,

Tis a strange morning, the static moon gates are corrupted and the paraplegic adult escorts are out in abundance.

Staring into the moon gate, the hypnotic blue and black swirl mesmerizing me, not even the limbless females could turn my attention away.

I feel a sort of gravity pulling me into the gate, words run though my head.

*Kill them all*

*Fame and glory is YOURS*

*The treasure is waiting, go and get it*

I pass through the gate and find my self in yew with nobody around.

The horse to my left gives me a sort of stink eye, and i am left with no other option but to sink my dagger into his equine flesh.

That will teach him.

Finding no marks, nor the owner of the now deceased stallion, I pass back through the gate.

This time emerging on the island of Moonglow, I decide to inspect the area.

Upon entering the city I spot an especially unpleasant thief, emptying the pockets of the town inhabitants.

"You're that Chad Sexington wannabe aren't you? Why dont you leave the thieving to the professionals and get off my turf" she snaps.

"I am more professional than you could ever want to be Rosanne" I say as I quickly stab her just above her left breast.

I inform her corpse of the new rules.

I return to the moon gate and make my way to Britain where i spot some activity unfolding along the road.

Auto revealed by a rune beetle my presence is detected.


I continue on my way to the city.


Entering the disease infested streets of Britain, I spot a few rats scurrying about.

They say the rats here, and their minion fleas, are more deadly than an evil omen - corpse skin - explosion - flame strike - Pain spike.

I make extra effort to avoid the disgusting vermin.

While detouring around the east of the bank I spot the filthy reptilians nevah and Draven of * Dragon Clan * frantically running through the streets. I pick up their scent and follow nearby.

A library membership token!! After being caught multiple times stealing books at the library here I was previously refused my membership.

I move in for the steal but forget to sheath my dagger before attempting and fumble!

Pretending to rummage through my bank box I watch Draven out of the corner of my eye. Dragons are not known for their intelligence.

I change into wolf form and follow his scent into east Britain where he meets up with nevah and they discuss their plans.

I move up carefully to the stinking creatures, not wanting to test their fire breath.

*makes sure hands are free*

*Perfect Steal*

At last I have my membership, no longer can they refuse entry to me!

I skip to the bank where I stow my card in safety.


Following a trail of wood shavings to the north, I come across more evidence of activity.

Discarded rings crafted by Minnesota Fats, a timid character who has escaped me before.

My wolf nose senses a putrid scent that draws me to the south east.

Ah ha the smelly man him self! Perhaps if he was not leaving his body odor all over these woods I would not have found him so quickly.

I follow him a bit to the north and inspect his pack

Finding nothing of value I ready my dagger.

But whats this? Mark? He must be planning to return in a moment.

I wait patiently and moments later Minnesota's master Brooklyn Fats appears and is wasting his mana attempting to reveal me.

I stand still and wait as he erratically runs back and fourth and pop his pack as he passes.

Spotting an elven machete Damage Increase 38 Hit Lower Attack 50% I target it and get ready for the steal.

"Not bad" I say to my self as I change out of wolf form.

I blatantly jump right next to him reveal as I seize my item.

Just as I come out he instantly casts blood oath.

While he is frozen casting I make faces at him and turn my eyelids inside out.

Taking off for the south east and still under his blood oath I look at my new item.

I thank thee sir, for thy crafter slave had nothing to my liking. This is a fine addition to my collection.

I head to the nearby Britain Inn "Sweet Dreams" and casually wander into a room where I settle in for the night.

Sweet Dreams.

-Jose Muerto

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