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Episode 0030: Glory, Mine for the Taking




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My adventure begins in the deserted city of Felucca Nu'jelm. I wander about the city and find no one but myself on the entire island.

It can get pretty lonely on this island, disconnected with the rest of Britannia.

Night turns to day as i wander these empty streets. Looking down at my sandles and half apron, the green begins to make me feel sick.

I stumble down the way and begin to vomit behind a bush. I must get myself a new color scheme.

I 'procure' myself a blessed half apron and sandles set.

Ahh, this will do nicely. Far less of an upset to ones stomach.

Que guapo!

There is Much work to be done!

I head to yew gate to see what treasures can be found.

My first mark,

The trustworthy stephano.

I attempt to shadow jump...

"cannot teleport to that spot."

hmm, Ok i shall stealth to him!

REVEALED! arrrgh! what was wrong with me? I cannot even sneak up to this simpleton?

With shame i leave him be and go onward in search of treasure.

I return to the Brigand house I claimed my Katrina's crook from not long ago.

There standing outside the steps is The Wretched anXiety.

She begins to speak Numbers. At first, delayed, seeming preoccupied. Perhaps she knows im here?

But then she lets loose with a massive formula that only one with her 'special' abilities (special = retarded) can understand.

I failed to catch it all. It was too great for even me to comprehend.
All i know is its (something plus something times newbs) .

I snoop her and find nothing of value.

Crap! I must look onward for other people who carry untold riches and glory within their backpacks.

...

To the Mines!

I come across one man mining with his fire beetle. I intend to see if this miner is awake.

I greet him with a Hail and he responds with a " ji ". Yes J-I. I know not what to make of this and notice someone else running tward me yelling offensive incantations. I quickly Hide and stealth a few steps away.

The man with his fire beetle continues his work.

My focus turns to the Dark Lord mr jobs. He begins to speak

"Vas Rel Por"

I begin to think my opportunity is slipping away.

*Fizzle*

Ha! I shadowjump to his locale and snoop. Within i find nothing but runebooks and whats this?

"Vas Rel Por"

An Ancient Hammer?

*Gate Opens*

My fingertips brush the item only as it slips through the gate.

Bah!

With the miners gone I run south into the woods. Wandering through the forest i begin to wonder... Will I ever find Riches and Glory? I begin to think that I am alone in this world of old.

As I pass down the trail towards Britain I see smoke rising from the blacksmith. I quietly sneak down, peek around the corner and see Smokie the blacksmith contently banging on his metal with an ancient hammer. I decide I would have a closer look.

I open his pack and see something that is of great value.

There it was, a Copper Runic Hammer!

Glory as a thief was about to come! But in the Guard zone? Surely he would not allow me to get away with such a crime.

I change into Ferret form to not alarm him. Who would be alarmed by a nice little ferret standing there looking at you?

I seize my item. Look up at him with innocent ferret eyes. Waiting for my impending guard whack as i insure the item. But none comes!

Haha! Glory is mine! I have your Runic Hammer and will sell it at a price I see fit! Overwhelm with glory i hide as soon as i can and look within this mans pack once again.

He places his Ancient hammer he had in his hand into his pack.

Within my reach!!

I quickly test my luck and grab his coveted +30 Ancient Hammer. I run off as fast as my ferret legs would go and hide around the adjacent buildings.

*What a steal! * I think to my self. A copper runic hammer and an Ancient hammer!

I must thank this man for these extremely generous donations! ^^

I proudly hang *my* hammers from my belt and think to my self that i look rather sexy as a carpenter. Perhaps that is why many of my family go on to build houses. They like to hang hammers from their belts.

No, I choose not to kiss your ass! You can take your Homo erotic offers elsewhere.

I return to Britain to sell my goods.

An Instant Sale! These runic hammers are very much in demand.

250,000 gold pieces.

A very profitable day for me!

*pats self on back*

I hope i see Smokie again some day!




-Jose Muerto

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