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Episode 096: The enemy of my enemy and more for me.

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Hail friends,

How do we measure skill?

Another day at the gate. Another day of witnessing a pair of people beating their chests. The chance of actually finding something of value may be small... but sometimes I just can't help myself.

I spy them to the north and move in for a closer look.

A duo of dexers followed by some spectators.

Their back and forth banter is of epic proportions. The bullshit that comes out of both of their mouths is of what legends are made of. They were both very skilled with their blades... but I get a sense that they're even more skilled (and had even more practice with their verbal assaults).

I get closer still, carefully dodging their oral fixations.

With everyone's eyes on the action, I creep in past everyone's defenses.

The verbal jousting moves continues and the sexual tension between them is like nothing I've ever seen before. (And I shall ever see again!)

It's like a well reherssed (and awkwardly physical) dance. A round of words followed by a round of running around each other in circles. Each of them claiming themselves to be the victor... even though both of them still stand.

They both pat themselves on the back, praise themselves for surviving the round, curse each other for surviving the round,... and repeat.

(I think they enjoy it.)

Some herbal remedy gives Kaiah unnatural speed. I don't bother going to her, she would just zip away before I'd have the chance. To the left and then the right. I take a look again and...


A scroll of 115 Taming!

Lesser treasures perhaps... but I take no pleasure in watching them any longer! Their circular fighting was making me dizzy, their war of words was getting old, and the tongue action between them was unnatural and wrong. It was as if I were watching a brother and sister do what brothers and sisters should never do. An uncomfortable silence followed by foreplay disguised as a fight. Unwritten sign language and very wrong body language... and I was the voyeuristic, half-naked uncle.

Extremely hot? Perhaps.

But so very wrong.

(Or so I've been told.)

Waylander takes a breather right on top of me. But Kaiah and her 115 scroll having pack is three steps too far!

"Get out of the way!" my mind yells at Waylander. With the way she zips up and down and all around, the only chance to take it was inbetween their circular dance.

They finally stop and Waylander ruins my fun.

I stay calm. Their oral tag teaming was just getting started. I sit back and take off my pants. They circle and stop again. Not the most perfect of conditions, but I'm done waiting. It was time to make my move.

I step to the right with Waylander 2 steps to my right. I step to my right and... I am revealed!

I don't bother hiding. They don't care about this tiny thief... not tonight and not right now. I go for Kaiah's pockets, while still going on and on about what turns them on most. I reach out my arms, take whatever's in front of me, and leave before they decide they need fresh meat for their twisted games.


I return to check the spectators for anything else that interest me... but I'm at the gate. There are always only slim pickings to be had.

They continue their dance even after I get my jollies off. And thus, I exit from this stage content with my gate loot this day.

I don't konw how they do it. I don't know why they do it. And I don't really care.

Maybe love at first sight for them... but a typical day and a typical steal for me.

*goes to make himself a delicious sandwich*

'Til next time!

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