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Episode 097: Back in the shadow of the bearded lady.

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Hail friends,


The City of Queens. Where matriarchs rule and where man-hands aplenty. Where leather armor is used to make both love and war. Where goods and services are paid in not gold, but young virgin boys. They say a barrel full of boys will buy you all your heart's desires. Where the phrase "surprise me" are the famous last words of many passers by as they lose their sexual innocence.

The city where I find myself again this day...

I spot a tamer and his beetle at one of the many stables.

(I decide to stop and ask him if he knows why I've come.)

I jimmy open the door and hope for a daydreaming tamer...

...I wouldn't be so lucky.

I approach from his right, but my sources tell me he knows I'm here.

With nothing of interest (and a very big beetle staring at me funny) I take my leave.

I search this City of Queens but find myself alone again! A little disappointed and with my pockets empty, I call it a day.

If not today, then maybe the next.



That day comes.


On a mission or running for his life?)

(...I follow him closely.)

He stops at the naturalist. What kind of treasures would he bring me? Gold? Precious gems? I wait outside and attempt to get him on tracking multple times... and multiple times, I fail. (This one has hiding.) The doors fly open and he flies on by...

--but not so fast.

His pockets are full. His pockets are fat. He's carrying too much, has no more stamina, and looks to his books of spells for aid.

A few more steps and he stops again.

I take advantage and get what's coming to me.

A pile of scrolls!



I look again.

A practice hatchet!

And uninsured! Ah-ha! The blessings of old have long since faded away. His hatchet? Secure in his pack no longer.

I grab what's mine and run and I run!

I run and run and run some more... but why I'm running I have no idea. He either saw me take it or he didn't. The town guards either saw me do it or they didn't. I'd either receive a hally-wack to the face or I wouldn't.

I stop running.

And all is calm and right with the world once more.

I return to the bank, stash my new axe away,... but I wasn't alone. Gabriel had some business to attend to... and this time, he's brought a friend.

Kaolin? What treasures have you brought me?

I circle around back for a better look.

I creep in carefully, get in close, and see... another axe!

...of the non-practice variety.


I look again and find nothing but more scrolls that they must be using for their diabolical ways. I'm about to turn and leave them be, when Gabriel pops out of hiding and warns her friend of danger! (A spy!)

A spy! An informant!

"I am discovered!" I say to myself and then aloud.

"But I thank thee for thy practice hatchet!" I say with a grin as he checks his hatchet-less pack.

But I wasn't done yet. I follow Kaolin close but still nothing but scrolls.

"Kal Ort Por!" she says at the bank as I trip over the spy.

A deception! A trick! (A trick that I know well.)

I don't bother hiding and pretend to use the bank. I summon some mirror images for the hidden Gabriel to see. I follow the plan, open a gate to Luna, and play the part and escort my mirrors through.

Gabriel takes the bait and takes my false transportation. Still under close watch, I pretend to bank once more.

I wait, lose my tail, and go back on the hunt.

And as expected, Kaolin is busy again.

But even through my trickery wouldn't change the fact that all she was carrying was a bag full of scrolls and a non-practice axe. She jumps through a gate and out of my life forever.

I stand at the bank with my axe... victorious once more. ^^



And as I wait, one of the locals approaches me as I try to decipher if it's a very ugly woman or a very pretty man.

"Is that a virgin boy in your pocket or are you happy to see me?" says the clean shaven person.

"It's my new practice hatchet." I respond with a smile on my face.

"And a nice one at that!" she (?) says, "...but I have many more splendid hatchets at my house if you'd like to cum and see."

"You know it!"

"Do you like them long or do you like them hard?" she says as she strokes what I can only assume is a roll of coins down her pants.


"Surprise me."

*happy face*

'Til next time!

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