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Enlightenment - Chapter XII

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Chapter XII

January 17, 2008

  • I try to follow the game mechanics as much as possible, yet at the same time I need to give myself some leeway for the sake of the story. I don't like crossing that line, but I do it if I have to. At first I was just going to break the familiar rule completely. I needed the familiars around, so who cares what's allowed in Ultime Online. I'm glad I was able to pull back a little, and slightly show why it may have been a concern to necromancers to only have one out at a time. It's a loose explanation, but it's still better than nothing.

  • My other concern is that this chapter follows Chapter XI, where Melfina and Stark both gave revelations about their backgrounds, yet none of that is addressed here. The difficulty is time. This volume takes place over the course of months, not two weeks like Volume 1. Chapter XI didn't happen the day before. Melfina's processed it, and is past her own emotional release, and is focusing completely on her task at hand. While the passage of time isn't clear, I hope that it is clear where all of Melfina's focus currently lies, and hopefully this chapter placement doesn't seem too odd.

  • I also figured out what was odd with Chapter X. Why it didn't seem completely right. It was after writing that chapter where I revised my method in outlining a volume. I thought I had solved it. I thought the reason was that I didn't focus enough on what emotion, what feeling, I wanted the chapter to convey. But that wasn't it.

    The problem wasn't something that was part of my revision. It had a purpose and event. The chapter shows Melfina restocking her shop, while showing how necromancy is helping out her daily life. The problem is that it still doesn't do much. Having chapters that establish setting are all well and good. Many of the early chapters are used to establish setting. Chapter IV especially is used to just explain how magic works and show differences with necromancy, while most people who read this will already know most of it. But that's just it. They take place in the beginning of the volume. That's what the beginning is for.

    Just like the beginning of a chapter should establish the setting of the chapter, the beginning of the volume should do the same. But Chapter 10 is halfway through. More has to happen. There has to be something passed on to the readers to keep the momentum going.

    How does that affect this chapter? Well, this chapter is another chapter furthering Melfina's journey into necromancy. And while there still is a short section at the end that has some action, that isn't enough. Dedicating a chapter to Melfina gaining a wisp isn't enough. There has to be something more. And so while I always planned for the dark wolf to return, I needed the readers to know that. So they know this chapter helps to establish a future chapter. And so that last line was added.

    "I will return."

  • 01/14/2009 - Rewrite to version 1.40. Lots of rewriting paragraphs. Although this is the first time that the changes were really just concentrated in the beginning of the chapter, and not dispersed throughout the whole thing. Don't know why that is this time. A net change of +51 words to 1,527.

  • 07/19/2009 - Rewrite to version 1.85. Changed a lot of pretty bland paragraphs. A net change of +12 words to 1,539.

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