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Enlightenment - Chapter XI



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Chapter XI
Commentary

January 7, 2008

  • The chapter is up a little bit late, but it's still the 7th. I went to a conference, and didn't finish the final draft before leaving, so I had to work on it again after I got back.

  • Chapter X also recieved 79 views over at the White Stagg Inn. That's double what Chapter IX got, so even if part of the reason might be simply the health of chapter, doubling the amount of views in one chapter means I actually do have fans of my story, and they came back after knowing that I've started writinga again. Go me.

  • I like this chapter a lot. This chapter definitely did go through a lot of drafts, but that's because there is so much that is happening in it. I have a lot of the basic relationships that the main characters have with each other written in my notes, as well as secondary characters that affect their backstory, but I don't have all the details. It was great seeing all of come to light as I was writing.

  • I like how this chapter was able to tell so much about both characters. Gwendolyne didn't get much development, she didn't get none either, and this certainly has been her most telling chapter as well. I think I was able to balance the three charcters throughout the chapter well enough that you don't forget who's there.

  • My first draft of the chapter left out Stark's personal backstory, and had him ending with the paragraph about tithing. That wasn't working at all as an ending. Ending with a rationalization of how the holy mages and paladins interact is the exact wrong way to end a chapter following Melfina's tale. At this point, I was going to rearrange the chapter so it ended with Melfina, as that is the strongest part of the chapter emotionally.

  • While rearranging the chapter structure was an option, I kept on thinking on how still end with Stark. There are too many chapters where Stark gets a Point of View, yet the chapter is really more about Melfina. Stark needs his time as well. Figuring out a way to close with Stark was a good way to still give his time to shine even though Melfina took up the bulk of the chapter. The only way to do this was to have him say something emotionally relevant as well, so eventually I came to the conclusion that this was the time to also reveal some of Stark's backstory as well.

  • 01/14/2009 - Rewrite to version 1.30. Small tweaks to make it flow better and some minor typos. A net change of 0 words to 1,970.

  • 07/19/2009 - Rewrite to version 1.80. Did a lot of cleaning up of some pretty bad paragraphs. A net change of -32 words to 1,938.


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