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Episode 0404: The Paper Chase pt. 1

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I begin my day as I often do, with a brisk constitutional. I stop by the bank of Luna to see about some investments and what do I find but Calaman Baare atop his Polar Baare!

(could this be the same Calaman Baare who's been trying to sell a Legendary Scroll of Mysticism for days? Surely he wouldn't be so unwise as to sit at the bank with such a delightful treat in his delightful backpack?)

And it seems he is wiser than that indeed! Before I can get close enough to inspect Calaman's luggage, he and his mighty steed sprint west out of the bank and up the steps (and through a teleporter) into Gu'Jek's house!

And now, speak of the devil, here is the home owner himself! With no way to approach them inside Gu'Jek's (public, but protected with teleporters) house, I wait out in the street for one of them to step foot outside and make their luggage available for inspection.

Alas, it is not to be... I hear the telltale sound of a Gate spell cast and both Gu'Jek and Calaman slip from my grasp. They were well-armed and equipped, and though I couldn't hear enough of their conversation to know where they planned to go, I decide to crawl through the muck and investigate a few well-known haunts of the well-armed and well-equipped.

To Dungeon Despise!!

I decide to go the long way, it's been a while since I filled my nostrils with the odor of Ettin.

*sniff* Not long enough...

I make my way through the labyrinth and as I approach the bottomest bottom of this cavern of horrors, I see what I'd been hoping for. Slimes and Giant Rats! Some band of heroes has decided to summon the Champion Baracoon and the party had just started! (it's a good thing I'm wearing my party hat!)

Who are these plucky heroes? I see Iggstigator far to the north of my position

And Kat the wraith much closer indeed!

And somewhere in here, zipping around on his beary steed too fast for me to get a good view of him, is the very same Calaman Baare! As quickly as he's moving (and with the red Iggstigator witherbombing all over the place), I decide to wait for him to come to me.

I approach the altar to await the final confrontation, and strike up a friendly conversation with the lonely and abandoned rune beetleD

The poor fellow is so despondent and lonely that before I can stop him, he throws himself atop a pile of hostile rodents. They tear him to shreds and it's all I can do not to look away from the poor rune beetle's final (grateful?) look as he slips away to rune beetle heaven...

Was it something I said? I fear I'll never know the answer.

As I ponder the ultimate questions of rune beetle life and death, the Champion appears to interrupt my musings.

Dragons and more rune beetles appear as Kat steps forward to do fearsome battle with the vile champion! Baracoon seems to whisper something into Kat's ear. She recoils, offended, and then whispers something right back... with her sword!

*note to self: don't whisper sweet nothings to this one, she has a sharp retort*

It doesn't take this band of heroes long to redline Baracoon, and I prep a shadow jump to get a closer look.

As Baracoon falls, and piles of gold shower the floor, I jump a little closer to Kat.

close enough to whisper into her ear! (I don't)

Close enough to inspect her luggage! (I do!)

Just a couple of 110s, but my fingers are itchy and I decide the 110 throwing is good enough for now. I transform into a ferret, the better to blend in with the other dead rodents on the floor, and make a grab.

I see my pal, Mayor Gooch of Minoc flash by to the west as I reach my furry rodent paws into Kat's pack. I wish him the best of luck and success on his way and find that I myself AM successful!

The 110 throwing is mine! Now all I have to do is lay here among the twitching, cooling corpses of the other rodents and wait a moment for the shadows to come to me




Alas, the shadows were slow and Calaman Baare was a little quicker on the uptake than I gave him credit for. I take a few sword thrusts to the face.

(was it something I said?)

And quickly find myself just another corpse in the pile...

Ah well, such is the life of the avid treasure hunter. Some days you get the Baare, and some days the Baare gets you.

-Henry Swift

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