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Episode 0395: The Perfect Crime (Part 1 of 3)

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Hail friends,

All of the best ideas require a lot of preparation and this one was no different. This latest idea was at minimum a two man job. (I couldn't do it alone.) And it would at minimum take at least a week to prepare. (I couldn't rush into it.) The set up would be a tedius and the execution would take a lot of work, but if everything went according to plan this would be the most profitable steal I've ever attempted, not close. (And plus, if I'm going to come out of retirement, I might as well make it worth my while.) In my mind, this was plan has 2 distinct phases. First, I would need to beg, cheat, and steal (and buy, trade, and accept donations for) a ton of materials, physical goods, and piles of gold. And after that, watch all the pieces fall into place, right where they need to be.

This story begins over one week ago and it begins with a map in my hand, marked for a popular New Magincia vendor, so I could pick up some supplies.

(What do we have here?)

All I wanted were some plants, but T r u was (apparently) in the mood to make a donation towards the war chest to fund my new endeavor.

Busy shopping and distracted by Global Chat™?

(This was almost too easy.)

(But I wasn't going to complain.)

I snap out of animal form and set my eyes on his fancy Invigorating Gargish Cloth Leggings of Haste. He stands there, forever distracted, and reach into the backpack of my stationary target and... somehow bungle the job.

(I still don't know what went wrong.)

I cast invis and T r u doesn't take kindly to my type around these parts.

He side steps his incompotent adversary and chucks a conflagration potion in my direction.

Unfortunately for us both, I never even attempted to steal the leggings correctly and was still blue (and still immune) from his aggressive attacks.

And then...

...he continues shopping?


I line up again for one of the most text book steals imaginable and take what's rightfully mine.

And of course, in the interest of the greater good, I wait 2 minutes, circle back, purchase the plants I came for in the first place and head home. Not the most impressive steal in the world, but I'll take it. I stuff my treasures away and get some rest. This was just the beginning.

I continue my shopping spree and after I gobble up everything I can on my own, I head to the public boards, make my intentions known, and lay out my plans for all the world to see. Little-by-little everything was falling into place and more-and-more everything had to be made more and more public. For this plan to work, it had to be more public than I typically like my plans to be and it must be able to withstand maximum scrutiny, under the magnifying glass of the public eye.

This was dangerous territory I was entering, because if anyone sniffed anything suspicious or underhanded, it would all fall apart before it even got started.

'Til next time!

-Chad Sexington

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