Some days the facet of Felucca contains slim pickings for a thief. And on other days, it’s just good to be King.
It was just one of those days. There was an invasion in the realm; an invasion of rich bloated targets. I’m not referring to the armies of Minax. I call your attention to the armies of unwitting marks that lined up to pay their taxes.
I don’t think it requires much more of an explanation. I’m not sure it even really requires narration.
Suffice to say a visit to Yew bank resulted in rather unexpected treasures when I encountered Phlack. He was going to bank his newly acquired Minax artifact when it became MY newly acquired Minax artifact.
::YOINK!::I thought it was just my lucky day… I really was considering to go to sleep.
I decided I’d turn in the Minax artifact and call it a night. And then I ran into Yane turning in his own newly acquired Minax artifact.
What resulted was predictable. I ended up turning in TWO newly acquired Minax artifacts.
::YOINK!::Thanks Yane!
Things had gone so well that I decided that I would just make quick rounds and see what I could rustle up.And then things just got out of hand…. I found CROWDS OF PEOPLE. Great crowds so large that I forgot to memorialize things. My hands were moving so fast that my brain couldn’t keep up. And best of all, nobody was catching on to what was taking place.
Seriously. Nobody seemed to realize they were being taxed as hard as the French…If I wasn’t so thoroughly pleased with the results, I almost might have felt bad for those suckers.
-Evil Lord SMuRFY
The King of Thieves
P.S. I can’t actually feel bad for people who require an act of the gods to avoid giving me my due and proper.
At some point between 2012 and 2013, Ultima Online was patched so that players are no longer required to unlock an item before taking it from their house.
This is the second so called “SMuRF Nerf” to thieves in Ultima Online. (the first being that UO Event Moderators can no longer be robbed by thieves).