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Episode 0335: An Anthropology Project (Part 2 of 3)




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In 1997, on the Pacific server of UO, my character's name was Dalim. I didn't like PvP, and I was tired of mining. I saw that the profession of thief usually involved newbie throwaway characters who would loiter around the bank and try to double-steal against people for comparatively small amounts of stuff. I decided I wanted to professionalize it.

* * *


My proudest moment as a professional thief was when I stole a silver longsword of power right out of the hands of a PvMer in the dungeons.

There was a dungeon (can't remember the name) where a bunch of skeletons would constantly spawn and people would kill them for the skills. Usually it was a relatively crowded area with a handful of people loitering around.

I saw my mark in these dungeons because of his sword, but also because he was going through a predictable pattern. Kill a skeleton, kill a skeleton, cast heal on self. If you don't remember, in the early days of UO, you had to free your hands to cast a spell which required you to de-equip your weapon and put it into your backpack. But he was fast and automatic in doing this. The only way I could steal that sword is if I could catch him in that fraction of a second where the sword was in his backpack. So, he would have to be right next to me to do it.

I would hide in the middle of the room. And he wisely avoided me like most people did to someone with my behavior. But I just sat there. For 3 hours. I bided my time, watching his every move, watching him do the same thing over and over and he slowly became more and more complacent. Pretty soon, he totally forgot I was there, and the whole time I was watching his backpack.

Just then, he's one step away from me, his backpack is open, he drops the sword, does the self-heal. I move the one-step in his direction. I hit the hot-keys for Steal and Last Object on his sword and my 99 steal easily moves that sword from his backpack to mine.

Then I cast the Recall to gtfo of there. I cast "Kal Alt Por" at the same time as he "Corp Por". Shit shit! The game lags..... This means one of two things. I either I successfully teleported out or he successfully killed me. I waited about 3 or 4 agonizing seconds before I find myself in the sweet sweet embrace of the bank of brittannia. Then I just hid myself inside waiting for my criminal status to expire and then took a break to have a nervous breakdown.


-Dalim

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