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Episode 0313: Running of the Slimes




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**Note from Chad: The images in this story are broken. I recently got permission from chrae to post this story on UO Thief 12 years after it took place. It's currently August 2011 and this story takes place way back in January 1999 and unfortunately, the images did not withstand the test of time.

How many people can say that they really made a difference in UO? Sure you could PK lots of people or lead a big and powerful guild, but the scope of it only affects one or two shards. How many people can say that they affected the gaming of every player ever to play UO? Remember way back in the day when slimes would *split when struck* and they would scar your weapon, but the most you ever thought about it was that it was a minor inconvenience? Then one day they no longer split and you never really thought of it again. Well I am here to tell the story of why it is that "slimes no longer split when struck"...

It was a long time ago and I had looted a large brick house owned by a guild who called themselves the Royal Knights of Britannia. The brick house and a tent was situated along the coast such that it was only accessible via recall or by boat. It was a nice little setup and we decided to make it our "TB training hut." We gated in wandering healers (to res), liches, lich lords, elementals, and whatever monster we could find to train our resist, parrying, and weapons skills. On one of the gates, a slime came along for the ride. It got trapped in one of the rooms along with the liches. Juan Valdez was fooling around and casted magic arrow on one of the slimes and it split. Then he casted magic arrow on one of the offspring and it split also. Me and Juan looked at each other and we both knew the possibilities of this. We healed up the slimes and made them split some more. Juan being a jackass casted a fire field on the slimes and they were splitting like nuts and Juan said, "Hey cool, look at all the karma I'm gaining" After about 15 seconds, all of the slimes were toasted, and the idea of making an army of slimes was abandoned...

Months later, I was out at West Gate and someone was training their magery by summoning animals. A slime was summoned, and it got me reminiscing about the good old days. Then I remembered the slimes. I had looted a few days earlier some guild called HKH - Hong Kong something. Amongst the loot, they had 12,000 magic arrow scrolls which was a total pain in the ass to drag to the house since you couldn't even take 1 step with them with 100 dex. I decided that I would put them to good use. I trapped the slime inside the TB house and started burning up the scrolls.

I thought about 10 slimes was enough so I took them out for a walk.

They all got killed quickly, either by the guards or some newbie. I decided that I would have to spawn more next time. Spawning the slimes with magic arrow was getting tedious so I was thinking of ways I could split them faster. Mass curse didn't work. Earthquake, meteor swarm, or firefield would just kill them all. Then I thought - purple potion. I tossed a purple right in the middle of the slimes and every single one split. I waited for about 3 minutes so they could all heal up, then I tossed another purple in. Again - my screen was spammed with *splits when struck*. I kept doing this until there were so many slimes I could barely move and I crashed a few times. Then I let them loose. There were about 100 slimes on each tile, and when I lifted up the table they marched out single file 1 after another. They just keep pouring out, and there seemed to be no end...

The slimes spread out, and it looked like this from the Trinsic Mines all the way to Leiahs Rune Library.

When slimes surround you, recalling or healing is virtually impossible. Here's a picture of Eraser trapped in the middle of a big pack of slimes.

A ton of people died, and I think even a few guards died but after about 5 hours of this the lag got so bad and eventually Atlantic crashed. It was my intention to kill many people, but it was not my intention to crash the server. The next day, I decided I would try it again except this time I'd give the city of Trinsic time to pay me ransom money for the city to be spared. I told the citizens of Trinsic that they had 1 hour to pay me 10,000gp or else me and my army would attack the city (then attack it anyway). Everyone laughed at me. Time expired, and I released the slimes again. Many people died. I didn't spawn as many slimes this time for fear of crashing the server (and everyone's deaths not saving) but it still crashed anyway since there were more people online when I did it. The very next day at update.owo.com...


Evidently the Running of the Slimes reached the dev team and a server patch was put into effect immediately. I went into hiding and didn't play for a few days for fear OSI would find out about who was behind the slime attack. Although it wasn't my intention to crash the server, the server did crash. And OSI would most likely ban the person responsible. Now, long after the incident, I can come forward and proudly proclaim, "Let it be known from lands far and near that:


Chrae is the reason that slimes no longer split when struck!



-chrae

**Note from chrae: The Wayback Machine's cache of the slime story is here, and you can also find old forum posts via google discussing it from way back to verify it's authenticity.

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