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Episode 0066: It's Good To Have Land!

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This morning as I read my daily UOThief paper I come across an interesting article.....

It seems my fellow gentlemen thieves remember a time when a long gone warrior ruled a dungeon....

And it seems he demanded gold payment to grant people access!!!!!

So itís that easy, I must go out and find myself a piece of land to call my own!

Where I may charge people gold to place even a toe or make them regret it!


*Sharpens his dagger and adds a little poison*

I head out to find my destiny!

I head out to find a place I can call my own!

*opens book*

*Presses random button*

Luna Gate again...........

'I should move that rune' I swear under my breath

*makes a note in black book*

Well I couldnít have Luna, it's too goody goody, I couldnít take action against anyone who didnít do as I wanted.......


Wait hold on whatís this??!!

*Where do I know that name from*





After a bit of discussion I find out that my 100k steal was from an ally! A gentleman Iíve heard of training a second char!


Reluctantly I hand back the item and hope heíll be in a good mood, he is carrying a big stick after all....


I get my evidence Iíve done a good deed and get out as quick as my legs will carry me........


But Iím still stuck with my original problem, where could I find a place I could defend and call my own......


Every time I come to Luna gate by habit my first port of call is Fel Yew Gate to see whatís going on there....

Could I seriously defend that gate myself? I doubt it very very much, but Iíll go look anyways!

And i find my alliance leader talking with sir loin of beef!

Tony emerald: Hi Shin
Shinobi: Hey Tony, u at the gate?
Tony emerald: Aye just looking round

With the formalities over with I check out sir Loin of beef....

Heís Blue, which means fair game......

So I open his pack




I Reach in while heís distracted by the talk with shinobi and steal what I want and run!

Shinobi: TTTooonnnyyyyyy
Tony emerald: Aye?
Shinobi: what you get?
Tony Emerald: 25 point ticket off Loin
Shinobi: Lmao, heís got a thief in my guild

*Son of a bitch*


But as I try to give it back he rejects it....

And tells me I stole it fair and square...

Good Man!

I Thank Thee For Thy Donation!

A good steal!

But I cannot have Yew gate obviously, thereís too much traffic, too many friends about and too much confusion on just who is who......

'But I know I can take them all out if I did want it' I Mutter under my breath confidently

*looks round to make sure nobody heard*

*struts off*


But where to try next?


*Opens beer and downs it*

*ponders some more*

*Star Room!!!!*

Its remote, itís good looking and it has people running through it with PS's!!

As I settle into a comfy position at the gate I see my first trespasser!!!

I prepare to step forward and give him/her/it a piece of my mind.....

But I decide it wasnít worth my time....


'It had NOTHING to do with the fact their friends turned up!' I shout at the little niggly voice in my head..

So I sit back until I spot......



Gah I hate people who taunt me with checks, Lil Wayne you sir are hereby added to my grudge list!!!!!

*makes note while giving the stink eye*



*snaps out of it*


I realise Iíve spent so much time flashing back and noting my brilliance of presenting them, heís right on top of me!!!!!!


*Pops pack*

I know I donít have enough time for a targeting steal......

I fumble as he hits the gate and random steal him...

*reaches into pack blindly*

*Sees scroll jump packs*

'YYEEESSSS!' I shout as I wolf form and run for my life

I know Iíve got a scroll, but I realise I have no idea what it is, I couldnít check before hand and now Iím running for my life......


I slip past one corner and take a magic arrow to the back, I slip down a corridor and finally the shadows take me in its loving embrace...

*Peels Open Pack*

*Flips Wayne the bird*

Itís not much, but it was Lil Waynes and now itís mine!

*I know itís early but....*


*Scratches Out Grudge In Little Black Book*


But I have realised I cannot hold the star room, yes the profits are nice but thereís way to many murderers running through who would like nothing more than to kill an innocent thief like me...........

So something a little less dangerous maybe with better profit...

*Scans Book*

Brit mountains maybe......

*Hits Button*

I arrive at Brit mountains and run round....

*Iíve forgotten just how big these mountains are...*

30 minutes later I find my first trespasser!


I check it heís got anything useful on him....


*prepares dagger*

That'll teach him!!!!!!

But whatís this........

'ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!' I scream in the healers face


I took me 30 mins to kill a slave who had nothing on him, just so he could be ressed by a healer pondering about without a care in the world....


*Light bulb flicks on*

*wonders what a light bulb is*

Thereís already a place Iíve deemed as mine, a place where Iíve already demanded passage money.......

Minoc Mountains!

*hits rune button*

AH! This is more like it, this feels like home!!!!!

And within 20 seconds I find evidence of trespassers...

I track but find nobody.....

*Begins Searching*

These are my mountains and I will protect them with my life!!!!!

*well until my health bar hits 50% at least* I admit to myself

So I trot around the mountain to see whoís been working here without my permiss..........



I donít need a flashback, I know Iíve warned this guy before!

But I still canít believe my eyes.....

I decide to give him no warning today if he hasnít got the gold on him...

*pop pack*


Fine, I shall have to take it from you!

1800gp, not bad but itís not 5k!

It seems this slave needs reminding whatís what....

*Rams Flag Pole With Crusty Panties Into The Mountain*


*bows for applause*


'Oh, thatís right, I killed the only other person here......'

-Tony Emerald

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