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This morning as I read my daily UOThief paper I come across an interesting article.....
It seems my fellow gentlemen thieves remember a time when a long gone warrior ruled a dungeon....
And it seems he demanded gold payment to grant people access!!!!!
So it’s that easy, I must go out and find myself a piece of land to call my own!
Where I may charge people gold to place even a toe or make them regret it!
Simple........?
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*Sharpens his dagger and adds a little poison*
I head out to find my destiny!
I head out to find a place I can call my own!
*opens book*
*Presses random button*
Luna Gate again...........
'I should move that rune' I swear under my breath
*makes a note in black book*
Well I couldn’t have Luna, it's too goody goody, I couldn’t take action against anyone who didn’t do as I wanted.......
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.
.
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Wait hold on what’s this??!!*Where do I know that name from*
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*FLASHBACK*
*FLASHBACK ENDS*
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After a bit of discussion I find out that my 100k steal was from an ally! A gentleman I’ve heard of training a second char!
GAH!
Reluctantly I hand back the item and hope he’ll be in a good mood, he is carrying a big stick after all....
*Gulp*
I get my evidence I’ve done a good deed and get out as quick as my legs will carry me........
.
.
.
.
But I’m still stuck with my original problem, where could I find a place I could defend and call my own......
*cringes*
Every time I come to Luna gate by habit my first port of call is Fel Yew Gate to see what’s going on there....
Could I seriously defend that gate myself? I doubt it very very much, but I’ll go look anyways!
And i find my alliance leader talking with sir loin of beef!
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Tony emerald: Hi Shin
Shinobi: Hey Tony, u at the gate?
Tony emerald: Aye just looking round
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With the formalities over with I check out sir Loin of beef....
He’s Blue, which means fair game......
So I open his pack.
.
BINGO!
I Reach in while he’s distracted by the talk with shinobi and steal what I want and run!----------------------------------------------------------------------
Shinobi: TTTooonnnyyyyyy
Tony emerald: Aye?
Shinobi: what you get?
Tony Emerald: 25 point ticket off Loin
Shinobi: Lmao, he’s got a thief in my guild
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*Son of a bitch*
.
.
But as I try to give it back he rejects it....
And tells me I stole it fair and square...
Good Man!
I Thank Thee For Thy Donation!A good steal!
But I cannot have Yew gate obviously, there’s too much traffic, too many friends about and too much confusion on just who is who......
'But I know I can take them all out if I did want it' I Mutter under my breath confidently
*looks round to make sure nobody heard*
*struts off*
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But where to try next?
*ponders*
*Opens beer and downs it*
*ponders some more*
*Star Room!!!!*
Its remote, it’s good looking and it has people running through it with PS's!!
As I settle into a comfy position at the gate I see my first trespasser!!!I prepare to step forward and give him/her/it a piece of my mind.....
But I decide it wasn’t worth my time....
.
.
'It had NOTHING to do with the fact their friends turned up!' I shout at the little niggly voice in my head..
So I sit back until I spot......---------------------------------------------------------------------------
*FLASHBACK*
Gah I hate people who taunt me with checks, Lil Wayne you sir are hereby added to my grudge list!!!!!
*makes note while giving the stink eye**FLASSBACK ENDS*
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*snaps out of it*
.
.
I realise I’ve spent so much time flashing back and noting my brilliance of presenting them, he’s right on top of me!!!!!!
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*Pops pack*
I know I don’t have enough time for a targeting steal......
I fumble as he hits the gate and random steal him...
*reaches into pack blindly**Sees scroll jump packs*
'YYEEESSSS!' I shout as I wolf form and run for my life
I know I’ve got a scroll, but I realise I have no idea what it is, I couldn’t check before hand and now I’m running for my life......
*Prays*
I slip past one corner and take a magic arrow to the back, I slip down a corridor and finally the shadows take me in its loving embrace...
*Peels Open Pack**Flips Wayne the bird*
It’s not much, but it was Lil Waynes and now it’s mine!
*I know it’s early but....*
Huzzah!!
*Scratches Out Grudge In Little Black Book*
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But I have realised I cannot hold the star room, yes the profits are nice but there’s way to many murderers running through who would like nothing more than to kill an innocent thief like me...........
So something a little less dangerous maybe with better profit...
*Scans Book*
Brit mountains maybe......
*Hits Button*
.
.
I arrive at Brit mountains and run round....
*I’ve forgotten just how big these mountains are...*
30 minutes later I find my first trespasser!Tube!
I check it he’s got anything useful on him....
Nothing...
*prepares dagger*
That'll teach him!!!!!!
But what’s this........'ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!' I scream in the healers face
Fine!
I took me 30 mins to kill a slave who had nothing on him, just so he could be ressed by a healer pondering about without a care in the world....
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*Light bulb flicks on*
*wonders what a light bulb is*
There’s already a place I’ve deemed as mine, a place where I’ve already demanded passage money.......
Minoc Mountains!
*hits rune button*
AH! This is more like it, this feels like home!!!!!
And within 20 seconds I find evidence of trespassers...I track but find nobody.....
*Begins Searching*These are my mountains and I will protect them with my life!!!!!
*well until my health bar hits 50% at least* I admit to myself
So I trot around the mountain to see who’s been working here without my permiss..........*FLASHB....
No!
I don’t need a flashback, I know I’ve warned this guy before!
But I still can’t believe my eyes.....I decide to give him no warning today if he hasn’t got the gold on him...
*pop pack*Nothing.....
Fine, I shall have to take it from you!
1800gp, not bad but it’s not 5k!
It seems this slave needs reminding what’s what....*Rams Flag Pole With Crusty Panties Into The Mountain*
'I HEARBY CLAIM THESE MOUNTAINS MINE!'
*bows for applause*
Nothing
'Oh, that’s right, I killed the only other person here......'
-Tony Emerald