Home | Forums

Episode 0044: Members Only

First | Previous Episode Index Next | Latest

<< | THIEF | >>
<< | Great Lakes | >>
<< | Gate Stealing | >>
<< | Jose Muerto | >>

After a long night of drinking in the Blue Boar, I awaken on my bed roll in the streets of Britain with a pounding head ache.

The cold iron blade of Courtney the guard's broadsword slides along my neck.

"Get up you thief scum! No sleeping in the streets of this fair city!"

Gaining consciousness I say

"¿Mama? ¿Tiene flan? Mmm-"

"What?! You best get up right now or my sword shall end thy life!" she says.

Realizing my situation I spring to my feet and orient my self.

"I don't want to see you in Britain any more today! The citizens are complaining, 'Jose Muerto' They say ' He stole it! do something! cant you catch him?'"

"You cannot force me to leave!" I respond

"Aye, well i had better not catch you anywhere around the great armorer Lord Verkaufer. He is visiting the Faction vendors today and the town guard has orders from The Commanding lord Of the True Britannians faction, Ramrod, that we are to protect him and his wares."

"Oh? You wont catch me anywhere near him!" i say with a smile.

*Wink Wink*

I toss Courtney a small bag of gold coins and thank her for her information.


With a bounce in my step I make my way to the castle, and who do i find lecturing his apprentice at the entrance?

Ramrod! The lord of Murder! The fearless commanding lord of the True Britannians faction.

Unable to shadow jump I move into position and open his pack. Finding nothing but stacks of reagents, I wait and pay attention to his teachings. Perhaps I may learn something.

While practicing my dagger thrusts Lord Verkaufer makes his entrance. Escorted by the Sherrif of Britain who yells out,

"I am Sherrif" He pauses "This is the Ledgendary Armorer Lord Verkaufer!" "Make Way! Make Way i said!!"

My mouth salivates with the thought of what treasures may be had from This extremely wealthy blacksmith.

Sifting through the junk I find something to my liking.

A bandage Summoning Talisman!

I quickly grasp the item and remove it from his pack as i am revealed. He takes off for the bank.

But i haven't thanked him for my talisman yet!

I follow close behind and personally thank him as i peek in the packs of the beggars groveling him.

I place my item into the bank and make my way to my home away from home.

Yew Gate.

As i step through the gate i am greeted by a familiar face. a bum-

This man is known to forget to insure his items. A boomstick was previously donated by him to our guild not long ago.

What do you have for me this time?

A staff of Power? -_-

Very well, I will accept.

Eh, a steal is a steal.

I return to see what else i missed.

Coopsterville? Only in my dreams have i visited this place! Coopsterville is a small area dominated by brothels, a red light district if you will. It is said that the whores here are the finest in all of Sosaria.

I arrive outside a very busy bordello.

"The Shag Shack" as its called. Open to members only. *hmmph*

I hear sounds coming from within and peer into the window

" ¡Ay Chihuahua! " The most beautiful woman i have ever seen!

She looks at me and shakes her finger.

"Members Only" she says.


I must gain access to this brothel!

I will Return!!

"Kal Ort Por" I yell out to the heavens. I close my eyes as i smell the mandrake, bloodmoss and pearl incinerate within my pack.

I return to Yew Gate to fill my pockets.

When I arrive I see yet some more familiar faces.

Clubber Lang and Deception. Two mighty faction warriors, who carry silver coins just for me.

I quickly snatch Clubber Lang's purse, and run off to count only 40 pieces.

Deception, I am no stranger to her backpack. She often carries large amounts of silver for me.

Lets see...

Indeed! Three times the amount!

I once again take Deception's coin purse, dump the coins in my pack, and throw her frilly velvet coin pouch on the ground.

I head to Skara Brae to bank my coins.


Upon further inspection of the city I find something interesting.

Someone curiously stealing coins out of their animals pack, while sleeping?

I think so! This man can steal and sleep at the same time!

Doesn't look like much of a thief to me. Probably one of those doom/tokuno thief wannabies.

Tell me Mr. The shadow what do you have to offer this real thief?

A ship Key! Huzzah!

If this man were a real thief he would have known to insure his ship key!

Silly doom/tokuno wannabies.


My first Ship!

Glory is mine!

Quite satisfied with todays loot I return to my comfy bed at the Restful Slumber.

¡Hasta Luego!

-Jose Muerto

<< | Jose Muerto | >>
<< | Gate Stealing | >>
<< | Great Lakes | >>
<< | THIEF | >>

First | Previous Episode Index Next | Latest

Copyright © 2008 uothief.com All Rights Reserved