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Episode 0033: Gaining Notoriety

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Hail Friends,

Its been more than 4 weeks since the THIEF guild has been founded here in Great Lakes and my brother and I are still training our skills. Tempted by the thought of great treasure, we push our limits.

Late at night I decide to visit the yew gate. Expecting nothing but slim pickings, I carelessly stumble out of the gate revealing myself from the shadows. Not worried about concealing my identity I bravely strut toward the smug Anheuser-Busch and pop open his pack.

I calmly sift through the contents of his pack as he notices and moves away, with his pack still open i go from item to item checking each one.

I didnt even notice the bright white LEGENDARY SCROLL, staring me in the face, until the last minute.

I prepare my self for a running steal while he is busy asking me if I know any XV.

I make my move. I begin to run preparing to receive my first legendary scroll.

I reach for the item just as he sidesteps to the right and i fall on my face one tile away and unable to reach my prize. He picks up dirt and throws it on my face as he laughs maniacally. Around and around he prances, singing his songs of how the petty thief Jose Muerto couldn't make the simplest of steals.

"You will never be as great as Chad" they'd say.

"Why don't you just give up?"

"Douche bag" They'd call me.

Realizing my intention he begins to run frantically for the gate with me just a few feet behind him. I move into position to attempt my steal again and just as i am able to reach into his pack he was gone.

Out of my life for ever.

"How could i have done that?" i ask my self. "How could i let that scroll slip through my fingers?" Feeling dejected I wander to the city of Britain. The city of alcohol and filthy, toothless whores. Here I will drown my sorrows.

As i wander the dark trail I begin to ponder my existence. Am I really bound for fame and glory? Do I really have what it takes to be a Master Thief? Does anyone even care?

Avoiding the leers of the toothless whores i make my way into the city limits.

I see a packhorse on the bridge, and upon closer inspection i notice it bears the brand of "uothief". Clearly someone has been watching me and they left this here for me to find.

Looking over my shoulder i make my way to The Blue Boar to drown my sorrows. I drank bottle after bottle of hard cider, distraught and somewhat paranoid. I had my fill and with a smile told the barkeep the Blacksmith SMOKEY will pay my tab. Tell him I said "Hi" as i ran out of the bar.

To Buccaneers Den, i told my self. The whores are better there!

Upon my arrival i am greeted by the loudly snoring Eric as he fishes the oceans dry of their inhabitants. These Mindless fishermen make me sick.

I politely ask him for his Gold pieces.

Receiving no response I stab him repeatedly in a drunken rage.

I don't know what happened, it was something about his ability to sleep and fish at the same time. It just freaked me out, he had to die

He falls before me. Still wild with rage i tear apart his pack and find something to my liking.

3 White Pearls!

Slightly satisfied i make my way to the bank and stash my loot.

I return to the Yew gate to practice my skills so that maybe i wont fumble my next 120.

Snooping the various combatants I spot a skull of greed.

My skull of greed.

"Douche bag" They'd say.


Unsatisfied I return for more.

Deception carries a very full silver coin purse.

I must expand my Silver collection. I casually snatch her coin purse and trot away.

She Gives chase! Finally someone who attempts to catch this clumsy thief.

"Jose" she says as I hide behind a house.

Not trusting this shady looking female, i stick to the shadows. Im sure we will cross paths again.

I return to the gate for more practice.

Whats this within the pack of the proper Alex Winters?

A felucca rune marked "falling castle". He wouldn't really be that careless would he? Surely not.

I steal the item and proceed to recall to its location

Just as i suspected, a trap.

I head to Buccaneers Den to look for my friend Eric.

I give him a few jabs with the hilt of my dagger, no response.

I swiftly end his life and collect another white pearl.

Still thirsty for treasure i return to the gate.

"What can be found at the Yew Gate?" they'd say

"No one carries anything of value at yew gate!"

"Douche bag"


I head North West and come across the honorable Grendel of KtFo.

I inspect his pack and find something of great value.

Exceptional Ringmail gloves "Of Exceptional Quality"

With no insurance i swiftly take the item and dart behind a nearby building.

Ahhh, I now feel satisfied. A great Steal. Thank you Grendel, not only for your item. But for Chasing after me too! I live for the chase!


"Douche bag"

-Jose Muerto

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