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Episode 0022: Lestat vs. Dirty Bag

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My night begins in Luna and I end up taking a red gate to follow Lastat and end up in front of the mighty KOS Castle!

After casting a night sight, I take the scenic route around the castle to see if I could get a glimpse of what Mr. Frenchman Lastat was up to, probably honing his PvP skills for another productive night of killing reds and crap talking!

I used my tracking skills because I knew something out of the ordinary was up. There Lastat was with pack llamas inside a castle at night time with noone else around.

I was curious but somehow, my gut instinct told me I didn't want to know. From my last adventure, I know Llamas are horny little bastards and Frenchmen are too...I'll leave it at that.

But instead of hearing odd ball moaning sounds, I heard the sound of potions pouring. I made my way around the other side of the door and found...

Woo Fe! AKA WOOFY! LaStats right hand man, his comrade in arms, his faithful battle partner (and maybe more). He was pouring potions like nobody's business, obviously helping LaStat ready himself for a fierce battle that would lay ahead.

But what's this, a gate pops open and perhaps more KOS were readying themselves for battle...

But it was Lastat with the pack llamas again? Perhaps the Frenchman was transporting supplies for battle, something that would be very valuable for a thief? I go to open up the pack but he gets inside too quickly.

He opens a gate inside the house again and he's gone. Will be come back again?

Woofy is still busily pouring potions like a slave and I get ready to leave when all of a sudden...

LaStat and his army of pack llamas go racing in the house. But before he does I manage to get a peek as to what he's transporting, 1600 blank scrolls?!

Interesting. I decide to stick around and investigate.

LaStat leaves again and I get ready this time to snoop him, because I have no use for scrolls. I wait, get ready to pounce for when the gate opens up again and...and...

The gate pops open. I'm sweating with anticipation at the different goodies I'm going to get. I ready myself, to grab something and then run away, as fast as the wind. But as fast as I am...

He's even faster. I end up opening the pack of the llama instead and LaStat created a great diversion. I need something huge, something fat, something to block his way into the castle so I can quickly search him and grab what I wish...

Perfecto mundo! An ogre answers my prayers and blocks the entrance to the mighty keep. Perchance this time, I will wrap my thieving fingers around one of LaStat's goodies.

I bring over an army of bandits and get ready for LaStat to come back so I could steal from him. He comes back. Takes care of the bandits and the ogre as I steal something from him. But he lashes out at me before I can invis and his wrath is too much. He is the Annihilator of Evil and today...

He wiped me out and my army. A one man wrecking machine this man was. Was the treasure worth the sacrifice? You will see soon dear reader.

I go to a upstanding fellow named Bradford, however, he did not like criminals either. I begged and I pleaded and told him my story. Eventually, I fooled him enough to get my ressurection. And a second chance.

The treasure you wonder? I open my pack and weigh the losses and gains of this day and I ended up only with an...

Orange petal. Luck was with my boss Chad the last few days. For this wasn't a treasure glorious enough to be satisfied with. I head back.

I recruit Bradford to help me out in distracting LaStat so I can put my fingers around a better prize, but LaStat was ready for this and lured the unsuspecting healer inside...

LaStat starts taking apart the priest of Mondain but then LaStat stops and seems to be cutting a deal with Bradford. Bradford betrays me and joins LaStats mighty army!

With Bradford taken out of the picture, LaStat gears up and heads out for a second round against yours truly. I quickly evade his blow and pop open his backpack and I find a weapon truly worth my long and tiresome battle!

But LaStat belonged to that same insurance company that everyone else belongs to and must have smelt my pheromones because he was in defense mode, trying to find me and slay me once and for all. Was this the end of Dirty Bag? Will LaStat be able to slay me and end my thieving career?

Tune in next week for the conclusion...

Just Kidding! He throws up some poison fields but I expertly dodge them and prepare to go steal again from him and claim my prize but alas...

The gods intervened and said the server was going down. LaStat boots it for the house, I make my way out of sight and mark a rune...

Oh I know where you live now LaStat and you can guarantee I'll be back. Get used to looking over your shoulder, brave warrior, because one day, I will be there, and you won't see much after that.

I take my leave and head back to Luna, but at least I have something to remember this adventure by and to remind myself to be ready and to never underestimate a Frenchman in battle again.

Who knew they could fight so bravely?

Certainly not I.

LaStat vs Dirty Bag = Draw

'Til next we meet.

-Dirty Bag

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