UO Thief | Episode 042: The Rules of Aquisition
Episode 042: The Rules of Aquisition
The Rules of Aquisition
The true rules of the scoundrel, the thief, and the looter.
- Once you have their money...you never give it back.
- Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
- Greed is eternal
- Anything worth selling is worth selling twice
- Anything worth doing is worth doing for money
- Anything stolen is pure profit
- Acting stupid is often smart
- A deal is a deal...until a better one comes along
- A bargain usually isn't
- Satisfaction is not guaranteed
- Never place friendship above profit
- There's always a way out
- There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman
- War is good for business
- Peace is good for business
- Friendship is temporary; profit is forever
- Profit is its own reward
- What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too
- Make your shop easy to find
- The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife
- Never ask when you can take
- Free advice is seldom cheap
- Keep your lies consistent
- Never buy what can be stolen
- The riskier the road, the greater the profit
- Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the merchandise
- There's a customer born every minute
- Never trust your customers
- Every once in a while declare peace--it confuses the hell out of your enemies
- It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit
- The flimsier the product, the higher the price
- A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount
- A friend in need means three times the profit
- Ask not what your profits can do for you, but ask what you can do for your profits
- Enough ... is never enough
- If they take your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much
- Sleep can interfere with opportunity
- Faith moves mountains ... of inventory
- Don't trust anyone who trusts you
- A warranty is valid only if they can find you
- Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them
- There's always a catch.
- Stay neutral in conflict so that you can sell supplies to both sides
- There's nothing wrong with charity ... as long as it winds up in your pocket
- A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn't know
- Know your enemies ... but do business with them always
- A fool and his money is the best customer
- Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money
- The justification of profit is profit
- Never be afraid to mislabel a product
- Life's not fair. How else would you turn a profit?
- A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on
- The customer is always right ...until you get their cash
- When in doubt, lie
- No good deed ever goes unpunished
- When no appropriate Rule applies, make one up. (The unwritten rule)
- Exploitation begins at home.
- When opprotunity knocks, charge it admission!
- If a sign says "buy one, get one free" only get the free one.
- All these rules apply to other people--not you.
-Thaloryn
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