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Every once in a while, I take a break from my routine of collecting taxes, punishing the wicked and protecting the innocent, to do something more for my realm.
I know my regular feats of amazing humility and spectacular generosity never cease to amaze my subjects. Let’s be honest, I’m pretty damn great… ::GRIN::
Today was one of those days where I decided to go a step further in serving my subjects.
Please hold your applause. I know you all love the King of Thieves, but let me give you more unnecessary reasons for why you should worship me as much as you all do.
I was doing my duty to the realm and taxing the wicked in New Magincia.
::YOINK!::I helped myself to Becca’s Arcane bookshelf when I realized, Becca had so much more to give to her sovereign.
She had a rather revealing portrait of a famous woman… I knew she’d generously want it to be on display somewhere for all her fellow commoners to admire. I decided to honor her wishes and lifted the portrait from her pack.
::YOINK!::As Becca fled from her house, it occurred to me what I must do.
Fate willed it…
It would be a monument to my immense modesty and extreme generosity….
The people wanted it….
They desired it within their hearts…
I, Evil Lord SMuRFY, The King of Thieves, Lord of Siege Perilous, The Greatest Man Alive, must re-build Barter Town.
It would be done….
I know right? I’m awesome but please hold your applause until the end of the story!
And so… I selflessly rebuilt The Forgery, stacking log on top of log, in the name of thieves everywhere! And in the name of Chad Sexington and my friends in the THIEF guild -_^
I quickly completed the building of the New Barter Town Forgery with my immense muscular form and general amazingness.
And then fate spoke again…. “Decorate this cabin with the belongings of the wicked, so all might know of your amazingness.”Upon completion, I knew this building would stand for at least a thousand years…
I know, it’s pretty amazing. You can all thank me by paying your taxes early and often ::GRIN::
To some of you, your former belongings are for sale here.And to the rest of you, Pay Your Taxes!
-Evil Lord SMuRFY,
The King of Thieves, and New Mayor of Barter Town
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