I've decided to journey outside my normal tax collection route today. I got my liquid courage down and headed to trammel, a land where thieves are shunned ::Gasp!:: and tax evaders roam free without repercussion. ::Frown::
I think I'll remind people that there is still one GOR thief left and their taxes are past due.
I have chosen New Magincia, a city under construction and a place that seems ripe for my kind of justice.
::Grin::
Walking down Main Street, I found my mark. Ginger Snap, my books say she has never paid her GOR taxes.I walked in to this horrible tax evaders house and saw lavish furniture, expensive rugs and banners advertising her refusal to pay up. The wench was actually placing more expensive things down as I watched!
"This filthy tax evader disgusts me..."
"The sheer audacity of her, how dare she...."
She took several items from a chest and continued to decorate...
::Grin::
I stealthily approached her, careful not to make a sound and alert her of my presence.
She placed a rather expensive potted plant on the ground...
::YOINK!::Ginger became paranoid and enraged when she realized her rare plant was gone. She shut the house to the public and fired all the household staff.
Lucille, the servant, stood outside the wicked Ginger's house begging for her minimum wage job!
Ginger spat accusations out for all the world to see, a thief had stolen her precious plant! She suspected Lucille had been an accomplice.
I felt terrible.. Poor Lucille, her nine children would go hungry without her job scrubbing floors... Lucille had always paid her taxes and served her master loyally.
"I'll find a way to save you Lucille! Don't cry, little jimmy won't have to starve!"
I wandered New Magincia for what seemed like four whole minutes!
And then I say Cathy the Crate "thief" wandering the streets looking for junk pick up and claim she stole."Oh Cathy! Follow me... I think I saw some rocks on the ground over here for you to steal from the ground..."
Cathy perked up and followed me forthwith to Ginger's home.
"Ginger! I found the thief! 'Twas not humble Lucille but Cathy who done the deed! Can you come here and identify her?"
Ginger Snapped! as she recognized not Cathy but I!
She ran back inside her house to obtain a weapon and an attack dog to use on me...
"Amateur..."
I turned to Cathy..."Well Lucille, I think they know it wasn't you. And if you'll excuse me, I've got to leave before that attack dog comes out here..."
And Ginger...
Next time Pay Your Taxes
-Evil Lord SMuRFY,
The Last GOR Thief