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Episode 0214: The Story of How Hoodwink Stole Christmas!




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Twas one cold night, and there I was, minding my own business, walking through Britain. A reindeer they told me, yes, a reindeer would appear and drop countless riches! Treats so tasty that people would pay millions, and millions Was Hoodwink's Middle Name. Passing the counselor's hall, he noticed a crowd, and like any good thief, pushed his way inside.

Tiny Tim needed assistance, for christmas had been stolen. The ghosts of christmas had stolen away the true meaning of christmas! "Ghosts," Hoodwink thought. I bet they have good loot to steal. And lo, a gate appeared, and the crowd went first. Hoodwink went into hiding, and stealthed his way through.

In the form of a wolf, he crept in between the creatures, who's heat was so powerful that he might be revealed at any time! Forward he pushed, for at the end of the rainbow was a pot of gold. He reached the end before any other, and tracked, to make sure no other stealthers had come through. He was right, he was the only thief in the group this night.

The group had many deaths, but on the corpses, there was no loot to be had. Shrugging it off, they reached another gate. Stealthed and grinning, Hoodwink went on. More ghosts in this area than the last, and each as warm as the previous, Hoodwink zigged and zagged towards the center of the room. Behind the walls, he noticed something called a "warlord." This warlord had a backpack. It was only a matter of time, Hoodwink thought, as he grinned.

The group eventually felled the monsters of the area, and the warlord was released! Immediately hoodwink rushed and opened his backpack, as he was distracted by everything. Christmas clocks! He thought. Rares worth so many millions that the tasty treats were no longer making his mouth water. He reached in and liberated the first clock.

The battle continued, and his fingers were nimble. The foe was falling fast! To reclaim his title of the best thief in the lands, he would have to rob all of the rare items before the others had a chance to loot his corpse. He quickly liberated two more clocks, and one shining item was left, a dove of peace. He noticed that it seemed to be decaying, ever slowly, but decaying nonetheless. He pocked the bird, and continued on.

Another gate, and more foes! Hoodwink was more than happy to continue on, leading the charge. It seemed people were catching on. Only half the group was leading the charge, and half the group had been left behind. Greed was taking over the group. The half group of fighters eventually made their way to the end, where a patch of green grass laid. Lightning twisted in the sky, and down it came upon everyone. Killing many.

Bringing their forces together, Hoodwink did not give up. One, Two, Three, Four times he died, attempting to rob this creature. A creature they called S.C.R.O.O.G.E. Self Contained Roguish Ooglying Oozy Googly Everything! Indeed, many suicide attempts, and many death robes were collected, filling his quota for the night. The mighty beast was felled, and Hoodwink walked away, head high, but no loot from this creature.

Tiny Tim was in need of the Dove which he'd earlier found, a dove of peace. Knowing that it had a timer, and that this adventure already yielded more gold than his bankbox could ever hold, he gave it up. After all, perhaps santa would allow him better presents for his compassion! Alas, a stag appeared, and ran off in the distance, with the crowd trailing.

Hoodwink walked out, 3 Christmas Clocks in hand, grinning proudly. His name is forever engraved SOMEWHERE, but I've yet to discover it! But when I do, alas, his name will go down forever in the history of Great Lakes, as the best thief to grace the shard. *Puts Pen Away*


-Hoodwink

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