Hail friends,
Today I awakened to a beautiful morning. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the innkeeper was... Well, doing her job.
"You must pay today! I hardly see you. You are always coming in and out of here at odd hours of the night, doing god knows what! I cannot afford too keep that room reserved if I am never to receive pay!" she says.
"Of course you are to receive pay! How much is it I owe you?" I retort.
"Have not paid for thirty four days, 408 gold pieces!" she snaps.
"You are charging me for the days I was not even here? Thats Robbery! I have a mind to report you to the Britannian Better Business Bureau!" I jokingly say.
*her face contorts and her butt hole clenches*
"You are being charged for EACH night the room is RESERVED!" she yells
"Do not try to swindle me thief!"
"Uhh, I was just joking" I say "Heres your money" I throw her a bag of coins i roughly estimate to be about 500.
"You can keep the change" I say as i quickly walk out the door.
I stock up on recall reagents and begin my rounds.
*hmm, nobody here*
...
*no one here either*
...
*I need some better marks*
...
*Inspects packs at yew gate*
Nothing!
*Heads to Heartwood*
When I stepped through the portal into the land of elves i was handed an ale and told to have as many as i liked.
*I'm sure they would like that, then they could have their way with me when I'm passed out*
"Whats going on?" I ask the elf who handed me the brew.
"We met our ash dildo quota! Now we get to party!" he responds.
I set the ale down and decide to keep my wits about me as i enter the crowd of very short elves. Many had already had too much to drink.With his head high above the elves around him, I spot another man of human decent enjoying the festivities.
Could this be the craftsman who met the quota?
I move in for a closer lookhmm...
...
Within his pack i find various junk. Nothing really worth risking a guard whack.
But whats this?Bingo!
Slightly used.I forget to insure my tools and attempt to steal a crossbow from his pack.
*whack**Oh well, he is surely too drunk to have noticed that.* I think to my self as I convince the town healer to resurrect me.
Returning to my body I find nothing on the corpse and am forced to steal my fletcher's tools once again.
Without even equipping any of my items, I make a perfect steal.I down a few drinks and leave for the bank where I stash my loot.
...
Feeling adventurous I decide to take a trip to despise. Greeted by a small contingent of XV's warriors I take position on the island.
Barracoon is quick to show his self and I begin to move into position.
After much waiting, Barracoon is red lined and i jump next to Aaron ready to steal anything he gets.
He receives nothing but 110s. Spotting a 110 tactics, I decide to claim my scroll.
I bank my steal and take a short siesta.
...
Returning to Despise I find i am just too late.
Filling her pockets with gold, Astrid Nightwind carries two 110s.I quietly reach my hand into her pack. Fumbling with her tampons I finally grasp my scroll.
Removing it quickly, I dash into the star room and hide my self well.Where are the 120s I seek?
Nothing but 110s for me.
-Jose Muerto