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Epilogue 302: "A Llama Saved My Life" (Part 2 of 2)




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Hail friends,

It wouldn't be a mis-adventure if there wasn't any danger. And in the age of Trammel, filled with billionaires who enjoy spending hundreds-of-millions on items to fill their museums, very good scammers are around every corner, ready and waiting to pick real life cash out of real life pockets on a regular basis.

--And then there are the really bad scammers like "llama buyer" who just aren't very good at what they do.

I first announced the auction for the statue 72 hours in advance of the auction's end. During the final minutes of the auction, the bids started heating up, leaving only blueturtle and NewThunder in a bidding war. The deadline passed, the auction was closed to everyone else, and only blueturtle and NewThunder were allowed to bid it out--winner takes all. And that's when "llama buyer" (a brand new Stratics username) presents me with this little gem:





*spits out coke through nose*

Let me get this straight: The auction has been made public for 72 hours, there has been a database error (that only effects him) for these past 72 hours, and he thought the best way to contact me was through ICQ? Oh, and by the way, at the time of the auction I hadn't logged onto ICQ in over a year.

(Sir, your pants are on fire.)

Now that I think about it, "llama buyer" must have the worst luck. For the past 3 days, he's been furiously trying to create a new Stratics username in order to contact me to bid on the llama statue. And just as soon as the auction closes, the "Stratics database error" is fixed and he's able to log on, but sadly, it's (literally) minutes too late.) Either that or he's just really bad at what he does. Regardless, blueturtle and NewThunder continue to bid and with his scam foiled, "llama buyer" can't help but vent his scammy anger out onto the public stage:





*spits out coke through nose a second time*

I let him know that ICQ hasn't been the best way to contact me in over a year. I also remind him that the auction was open to everyone for 3 whole days and that the auction was extended exclusively for these 2 people because they were the 2 remaining bidders as the auction ended. And with his scammy feelings still hurt, he attempts to save face and mask his failed attempt:





*spits out coke through nose a third time*

I remind him that all day long, the entire shard of Atlantic was at an IDOC in Luna. And for the past 5 hours, I've been standing at that IDOC with everyone elese. I've been in plain sight and refreshing the auction thread (and doing other things online). I point out that if he was really trying to find me in-game this entire time, I wouldn't have been that hard to find. My jolly belly can take no more and my burning nostrils can take even less. blueturtle calls uncle, NewThunder wins it and sadly, "llama buyer" gives up and logs off his computer in shame. He turns off his scammy lights, crawls into his scammy bed, and cries himself some scammy tears as he falls into scammy sleep.

After being away from the game for a year and after poking my head up to claim a 350 million gold treasure trove, someone still notices. Much like the attempts of Alexandrea (from Episode 017), Slevin Kelevra (from Episode 026), Yoink & TheOneEyedNewb (from Episode 034), and Native Canadian (from Episode 275), there's always someone trying to slit my throat. Why would it be any different now? llama buyer's attempt just becomes another failed attempt in a long line of failed attempts of people who have fallen flat on their face, presented here for all the world to see.

("llama buyer" may have been a brand new Stratics username, but at the same time I was getting private messages from a very well known scammer. Over the course of the 3 days, he offered me his support in the auction and his willingness to outbid the highest bidder. I obviously didn't take him up on that offer and ignored the messages. The auction ended, "llama buyer" popped up, and the rest is history.)

("llama buyer," you should really stop trying to scam people. You aren't very good at it.)


'Til next time!


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