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Episode 300: The King of Thieves (Part III)

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Hail friends,

It's that time again.
Dear UO Community Coordinator,

My name is Chad Sexington, the founder of THIEF, guildmaster of THIEF on Siege Perilous, and webmaster of UO Thief. I’m nearing episode 300 on my long running series of UO episodes, “The Mis-adventures of Chad Sexington” and I would like to make an event of it. This is an official name change request.

From: Chad Sexington

To: Chad Sexington the King of Thieves

I know of at least two other people in UO’s long history that have received atypically long, name changes. I want to make my case for my own name change now:
  • THIEF has been in existence for over 4 years.
  • UO Thief (www.uothief.com) has been in existence for nearly 3 ½ years and is now host to the largest catalog of episodic content in the entire history of Ultima Online.
  • In that time, there have been THIEF chapters founded on 7 different shards, including: Napa Valley, Great Lakes, Atlantic, Legends, Chesapeake, Europa, and Siege Perilous.
  • Nearly 100 thieves have submitted thievery episodes that have been published on UO Thief.
  • UO Thief is now home to the largest catalog of UO episodes in all of Ultima Online.
  • UO Thief has received nearly 1 million page hits.
  • We have successfully established the player town of thieves, Barter Town, on Siege Perilous. Its citizens are active members in the Siege Perilous community.
  • For a period of time, THIEF was recruiting more players to Siege Perilous than NEW. These players were either potential guild members, jester's hat wearing citizens, or they logged onto the shard just to visit the town.
Ultima Online will be retired one day. That day may be years from now, but UO Thief will be alive for decades to come. This website and the community of thieves that it has gathered will be a piece of all that’s left after UO shuts down its servers. Our exploits are the history and long lasting memory that others will read about when referencing anything UO. All of the other players would have come and gone but UO Thief (and other fansites) will be all that’s left.

The stories authored by myself (and others) should not only be acknowledged, but celebrated. If “300 episodes” is the benchmark that would be set if my name change request is granted – and if other players would also like name changes by meeting that same benchmark – so be it. Story telling that promotes story telling is nothing but a positive in all facets of the game. This positive isn’t just in addition to the game, but an extension of that same game.

The stories that myself and many others have published over the years and more than just personal accounts, they are literally the history of Ultima Online.


-Chad Sexington

::The Letter is Sent and 1 Month Passes::

Nothing. Again, just like 100 episodes ago, they ignore me altogether a second time. But I wasn't going to go down without a fight. This time I had a Plan B.

*cracks knuckles*


A few minutes pass and I get what's coming to me:

"We all know who runs Barter Town."

Truth be told, I've always figured that they (Electronic Arts) are all undercover fans of The Mis-adventures and are all secretly handcuffed in this request even though they know I'm right. And with this one sentence -- as a representative of Electronic Arts -- GM Akemai confirms all of my suspicions. I tell myself this is the victory I've been waiting for. I also tell myself that I'm incredibly handsome and have sex with women often.

(Don't judge me.)

It's been fun. Beginning in January 2006 and ending in May 2010, my 4 1/2 year journey -- spanning 2 shards, spawning mutiple chapters, guilding hundreds of thieves, and read by many (many?) other players -- finally comes to an end. And what an epic journey it was.

*heroicly bows out on a high note*

The End.

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