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Episode 295: The Newbie and The Death Gate

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Hail friends,

Newbies won't kill themselves. Sometimes they need a little push.

Nothing too interesting happening in Luna. This evening it was particularly dead, save for Albertus Maximus of JSV casting invisibility spells on himself and his greater dragon, ready to spring a trap. And as usual, he has nothing of value, not even equipped on his body.

--Nothing except a Ball of Pet Summoning.

(I checked.)

But enough foreshadowing.

Enkil Visigoth: New to Siege?
Enkil Visigoth: I got a box of spare armor.

New to these parts, Magitek and Jack Meoff were and hanging around Luna Bank and me and Enkil decided to get better aquainted to our new guests. Enkil opens a gate for our new found friends, but it looked like only one of them was going to accept Enkil's invitation.

"To the loot box!" we silently point to the sky and exclaim with great relish.

I get their first and watch from a distance.


But we're not without heart.

(And he didn't have any loot anyway.)

(Well... it doesn't.)

Enkil Visigoth: I really do have armor for ya.

We all shuffle inside the Thieves Den. We go upstairs and Enkil hands him (a box?) of freshly looted armor.

Magitek: How do I know this isn't trapped too? Haha.

Chad Sexington: (Tell him I'll gate him back to Luna.)

*waits for the others downstairs*

(One "gate to Luna" coming up!)

*cracks knuckles*

Magitek: Thanks guys. :)

*walks through gate*

Drakes and Dragons: RAAAAAAWRRRR!

(What the--?)


(He's back!)

Chad Sexington: !!!
Enkil Visigoth: Chad Sexington: Impressive...

(Ah, a worthy adversary.)

But I was just getting started.

(Besides, even though newbies only count for 1 point, I still had to keep up with Enkil's score.)

('Tis the rule around these parts.)


Around the corner, I swing open the tower doors, and we all come charging in.

The rune was on the roof.

(To the roof!)

*cracks open book*

This time I was on my game and had an itch in my finger tips to cast the Dispel Field spell as fast as possible.

(You're move.)


Bitter, sweet success!

Drakes and Dragons: RAAAAAAWRRRR!

The score was all tied up. Now all we needed was a tie breaker to settle once and for all who was the better man.

(What the--?)


Enkil saw it and I saw it (and you saw it too).

The spell was cast, the gate was gone, and still... Magitek poofs back into existence, back from the land of the bloody, bloody, dragony death.

(That's just not right.)

I try again.

*squints eyes*

(Enkil is determined to rob me of my point.)

He "accidentally" casts an incorrect gate and I try one more time.

(The last time!)

(I swear!)

Magitek: You go in first.
Chad Sexington: Okay.

*steps back 2 steps*

*steps forward 1 step*

*hides and backs off*




Drakes and Dragons: RAAAAAAWRRRR!

(What the--?)


(He's back!?)


(Luna this time.)

(I swear!)

I open a blue gate back to town and Enkil opens one of his own. Magitek harmlessly attacks me whilst mocking my 3 failed attempts. And at this point, I think the drakes and dragons of the demon temple were getting a little pissed off after being teased 3 times by the sight of this scrumptious morsle.

And as if it were meant to be, all the wrongs of my current short comings are righted once again.

"All kill!"

Albertus Maximus and a Giant Phallic Symbol: RAAWRRRRRRRRR!!!

Albertus (and his giant lizard) had hopped through the ass end of the gate (in Luna) and now found himself surrounded by two thieves and our funny little guest. With three potential targets to choose from, Albertus foolishly chooses Magitek. He ends up doing my dirty work for me.

(It couldn't have worked out any better.)

With Magitek's embarrassing corpse laying at our feet (once again and at long last), we tag Albertus and his Over Compensation with duel bannings. Enkil dives out after him. With Albertus dazed and confused, Enkil makes short work of his pet ball before he even knew what hit him.

I didn't even have a chance to make a game of it and race Enkil for the pet ball. I barely finished resurrecting Magitek and (finally) provided him with a proper gate (with some more free armor) and the race was already over.

The theft happened almost immediately.

Being previously snooped (in Luna), it was common knowledge that he had nothing else of value. Believing he had won the day, he soon departs with his fantasy intact and had a few words of encouragement for Enkil.

Enkil Visigoth: He just called me a terrible thief. Haha.

(He was still unaware of his missing pet ball and he goes home, oblivious to the Barter Town service he's just provided.)

*shakes head*

(Don't jump our gates.)


'Til next time!

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