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Episode 271: The Six Step Protocol

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Hail friends,

Here in Barter Town our laws may be tough, but dare I say, they are fair. We are a peaceful peoples after all. In exchange for our precious metals (in our own backyard) all we ask is that you comply with the well established dress code. Most trespassers realize the error of their ways and quickly earn their citizenship after a quick review of the local laws. Some trespassers are skeptical of our motives, but are soon persuaded after a quick chat. And then there are others that require more... direct methods.

Case in point:


I take a closer look.

Tonight he not only was our latest trespasser, but also tonight's expercise -- an excercise in standard operating procedure incase of an incursion into the mines. These noble -- and dare I say 'bold' -- techniques have been used in the past to much success. At this point, these techniques have been refined into a 6 Step Protocol.

I follow that protocol now.

First, I pick up some supplies (and props) at The Small Forgery. The very establishment set up to support our (ungrateful) local miner community. This establishment is fully equip selling: pickaxes, smith's hammers, tinker's tools, public forges, and of course, Jester's Hats.

STEP 1: Spot the Jester's-Hat-Less Intruder

STEP 2: Make Sure They're Familiar With Our Laws

(We wouldn't want unnecessary deaths, now would we?)

STEP 3: Observe the Intruder Ignoring Our Laws

STEP 4: Set the Trap

STEP 5: Unzip Pants


I take everything, including the shirt on his back.

STEP 6: Wait for the Intruder to Return and Point Where They Went Wrong

I admit it.

It's not pretty -- but dare I say -- it's just.


'Til next time!

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