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Episode 269: Anck-Su-Namun vs. Chad Sexington

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Hail friends,

Wherever I go, there they are.

"Ministry Academy."

Truth be told, I'm bored to tears of IDOCs.

It's not what I signed up for when I took this job. I barely care for the loot... what I want is the adventure! I have no use for gold. I use what I steal, I wear what I loot, and I keep what I kill. The free loot and monotary value of it all is just to look pretty (in screenshot form!) and to stroke my own ego.

Regardless of my tears of boredom, it was another day with another IDOC and it's wearing thin... and yet, here I am again.

--And wherever I go, there she is.


*pumps fist*

(I'd say that she's my latest nemesis, but now that I think about it... she's been here all along.) Anck-Su-Namun and friends were already there (along with Ash and Cheks Miks) by the time got on the scene.

(Note to self: Anck-Su-Namun is the biggest IDOC monger on the shard. If there's an IDOC, you can be sure that she's brown nosed herself all the way up its inanimate rectum. How she can she not be bored to tears herself...? I fear the world will never know.)

With a backpack full of yoinkable Powder of Fortification, I watch her close and disregard the rest of the "loot." Everything good has either already been taken or will be sniffed out by the recruits. They have my full confidence... and besides, I'd rather stab my own eyes out than play the IDOC game again (and so soon).

--Nay, today I was looking to steal, not loot.

Anck casts Invisibility and sifts through the containers around her and then... she pops back to life and makes a short run to the north! She runs far, but not far enough. She preps a Gate Travel spell, I catch up to her position, still stealthed. She runs up, casts the gate, and runs back down... and I snatch a bottle just as she gets to the gate. I run east, she runs west, and the powder is mine. I head back up but she's already admitted defeat, off to stash all of her new powder. In our own backyard, I'm sure Anck and friends got the lion's share of the loot. Soon we were all alone and I knew something was up. And from our backyard, I leave... and go straight for her's.

(How else would I steal from her?)

Reports came in last night: another house was falling at the Trinsic Moongate, right behind Anck's vendor house. The others clean up here in North Minoc and through the gate, I go.

Past her vendor house I arrive without a soul in sight.

(If she was going to steal our resources, I was going to do the same.)

And for once... the loot wasn't too shabby!

I start shuttling off bags to the tower, waiting for anyone to show. Muley soon arrives (with nothing but Bags of Sending) with Cheks Miks not far behind. Visible and helpless, everything was curiously cordial. A dart trap here, a greater heal there, and it might as well have been a pleasant morning. Nothing could ruin the mood... right?

Anck soon arrives and she attacks on sight.

I may have payback for her lost powder earlier or she may have just been overcome with IDOC grubby power (or it may have been sand in her vagina), but I fear the reasoning didn't really matter now.

Cheks Miks was going down and I still had to drop off my latest haul.

I make a quick drop off at home, pick up my kryss at the bank, and head back in. This time in her backyard, I intend to pick up right where we left off.

--But wait!

*spies loot to be had*

Yes! This was it!

This is what I signed up for!

Do or die!

Life and death!

Failure or glory!

*Anck-Su-Namun and Muley are attacking you!*

Down through the houses to the south, I start slushing and sloshing, and surprisingly... it looks like she's not doing any better. I turn the corner, off to the side, and she catches up just, one or two steps not far away enough. Back up and around I double back and (the once cordial and peaceful) Muley gets in on the action. A parazlye, explosion, and energy bolt later (with an underhanded mind blast courtesy of Muley) and I take one for the team.

Ah, a good death.

(An IDOC Rule of Death.)

Back in Luna, fearing nothing but the worst, I check my backpack again and see the good news.


And just when everything was going so well... I realize that my (accidentally unblessed) kryss was gone and out of my life forever. 'Tis a shame its nearly unsellable to any non-thief. 'Twas a fine weapon, but it was no more.


I push forward and am faced with the excruciating task of going through hundreds of items, many of which are useless. I choke on my tears of boredom. (I don't know how she does it.) And just like that, when all hope was lost, it's gifted to me, just like that.


As if it were cherry picked by the Gods to land in my hands this day -- an earthquake resistant, -20 mage weapon!

(Another worthless weapon, valuable to no one but me!)

My greatest wish is that one day she'll hunt me down and beat me to death with my own weapon.

('Thus is the law of the land.)


(It's nice when things work out sometimes.)

In total, our loot included:
  • Cursed Hat of the Magi x2
  • Cursed Shadow Dancer Leggings
  • Staff of Pyros x3
  • Pigments of Tokuno x48
  • Vermin Slayer Talismen x3
  • Quiver of Infinity
  • A Dozen HCI/DCI Shields
  • Other Minor Artifacts (Exiler, Cavorting Club, Pads of the Cu, etc.)
  • Hundreds of FC/FCR Jewels
  • Hundreds of LRC Pieces
  • Powder of Fortification Courtesy of Anck-Su-Namun
I happily use Anck's powder on my new and improved replacement weapon. Aye, 'twas a hard fought battle, spanning two backyards, multiple thefts, an embarrassing death, swappage of weapons, and a never-ending stream of boring tears. Success...? I'll let you be the judge.

Round 1: Draw

'Til next time!

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