Home | Forums

Episode 265: Max Jr.

First | Previous Episode Index Next | Latest

Hail friends,

Exactly one month ago today the Gods gave me a new toy to play with.

Unfortunately, there was only room enough for two pets and Max had to be put down.

(The same Max from the Annual Cat Herding Event in Episodes 169-171.)

(Bye Max.)


--But out of the ashes, now comes the light!

A vollem!

They say they're strong as nightmares, require zero skill in Animal Taming, and bonds instantly?

Ah, a vicious monster to match my vicious nature.


Let's call him Max Jr.

Moments later I spot Diablo Thantis, decked out with the finest of faction and non-faction gear, near the Minoc Moongate.


I wait.

He waits.



I decide to test my theory.

Through the moongate and back to the bank, I grab my kryss and poisonous darts... and here's where it goes down hill.

I cracked my vollem crystal moments ago precisely for situations such as this... and being absent minded, I foolishly leave Max Jr. behind.


I return and Diablo still hasn't flinched.

--I strike!








And it wasn't working at all.

My swings were landing and my darts were worthless. I miss more than I hit. I go through 5 darts before the first one sticks. I had a good 20 seconds of free swings and I think his auto-defense was winning the fight.

Dazed, damaged, and confused, he pops to life runs off to cure and heal, and I was left with no choice but to retreat.

(It was so pathetic.)

Flash forward to today.

While making the run from the moongate back to town, I spot Sinyaka, co-guildleader of NEW trespassing on our property.



(No response.)


Legendary Necromancers and "Co-guildleaders" don't count as "NEW."


(Especially when they're breaking the town's dress code and wielding Cursed Taskmasters, ripe for the taking!)

I run off to the Barter Town Stables and don't intend to make the same mistake twice.

Jareth was looking for miners, I found a playmate, and we co-ordinate our attack.

He was coming from the moongate to the west and I was coming down from the stables from the right.

If she was going to pop to life and run, she'd be running right into Jareth.

I strike!

A shuriken, an "all kill", and a couple Mind Blasts later; this fight was over before it began.

(Max Jr. performs as advertised.)

But I'm not without heart!

Sinyaka may have had her faults (and she may not have been the prettiest flower in the bouque, if you know what I mean), but I uphold our laws through necessity of survival -- to maintain the order of law. And in no way do I derive any sort of sick, masochistic, sexual pleasure from any of this.

(I swear!)

Was it a glorious victory? Not as glorious as I would have liked.

But was it necessary? Absolutely.

I leave jester's hat and book of our laws next to her embarrassing body, but this is not a time for jokes. Friend or foe, a human being lost their life this day and deserves nothing less than our upmost respect. The same respect our undying souls would demand if our roles were reversed.

(Good Max Jr.)


'Til next time!

First | Previous Episode Index Next | Latest

Copyright © 2009 uothief.com All Rights Reserved