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Episode 258: Fuck Pola

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Hail friends,

Private Posting by Jareth:
Does anyone know if Pola is a thief? I stole a nice vet cloak from her just now and afterward she told me that she was a thief. I just wanted to check here first before i return it.

(You mean Pola, the one who was always the first one hovering over our bank stealing corpses and looting, a long time ago? The same Pola that revealed us in the bank, at the gate, and with the Luna pvpers? Pola, the code-breaking thief? You stole her veteran cloak and she wants it back? The same Pola that wouldn't extend the same courtesy if she stole it from you? That's who you want to give it back to? That "Pola"?)

Private Posting by Chad Sexington:
Fuck Pola. It's your veteran cloak now.

Of course, I'm not one to rush to judgement on a fellow thief. So I party chat other non-guilded thieves to confirm my suspicions. I tell the tale -- re-telling what I know -- and ask if they'd had similar encounters. The verdict was unanimous:

"Fuck Pola."

(Well, they may have expressed their thoughts with less swearing, but the sentiment was the same.)

--In related news, what's this I hear about Jareth (a brand new member) stealing a veteran cloak...!? I rush to the public boards and the tall tale that is told is a tale-among-tales! The cloak wasn't looted or scammed or bartered -- it was stolen fair and square. In fact, it seems all veteran clothes have lost their blessing (at least temporarily) and we'd have to be on top of our game to take advantage of the day. I get off the public boards and head straight for Luna to see it for myself.

Also, in related news... Jareth already grabbed a veteran cloak?


I see it and am forced to believe it. It's true!

People everywhere, lining the streets, unaware of the soffocating cloud of thievery that has decended upon all the land this day.

(A day-of-days.)

Anck-Su-Namun siffs through her bank contents (and doesn't disrobe), a gentlement wearing a fine looking hat wanders about, and Rizzen of NEW keeps going on and on about some Halloween Event. He was looking for directions to the Yew Courthouse and I'd gladly help him... but more pressing matters were at hand.

Enter BlackRose of GIL.

BlackRose: My hammer is still better than yours.

*squints eyes*

*eyeballs robe*

(Disrobe. I dare you.)

"A Luna Guard is whacking Grey Mullet!"


(Where did he come from?)

Mullet goes down and takes one for the team and... maybe he knew something I didn't! There was only one reason for him to get whacked -- he also heard the local chatter. BlackRose and Rizzen both go for his belongings.

Fine. I'll be the decoy and he can be the thief.

(I'm a team player after all.)

I feign a Resurrection spell, keeping things lively, hoping BlackRose wouldn't go anywhere.

Mullet comes back for seconds.

"A Luna Guard is whacking Grey Mullet!"


Mullet goes down a second time and now our roles have flipped. I'll be the thief and he'll be the decoy. They both go for his pockets again. I dip my hand into BlackRose's backpack and... I'm off!


Grey Mullet keeps up the act, more locals take notice, and we dance the dance until I've snooped them all:


Even Anck-Su-Namun wises up and her clothes are nowhere to be found.

News of the God-induced, thievery cloud is spreading quickly and we'd better keep pace if we want to be as opportunistic as we all think we are.

(We have a reputation to maintain!)

Neo shows and I take his Mana Draught and also had a Seed of Life. And while they both can fetch a hefty amount of gold, I pass on the seed. I was only looking for one thing this day.

(My dress is better than your hammer...!)

(He was a good sport, but I'd rather not... There's-a-stealing that must be done!)

A hectic day, indeed.

Mullet introduces me to a new recruit, Rizzen picks up directions for the Halloween Quest, and I still wanted more.

His trapped box detecting skills are impressive... but we'll see if he can make it through the trials.

(Where was I?)

Luna was snooped until it could be snooped no more, but there was still much more land to cover.

I head to Umbra.

From Umbra, through the red gate, to Yew, and into Zerial's pockets. Everything was moving quickly now. He stops. 3 seconds to catch up to his position. I snoop. He waits. 2 seconds to change out of animal form.

I steal.

He's gone.

(Nothing but air.)

1 more second. That's all I needed.

With Grey Mullet, Enkil Visigoth, Jareth, and Swindle out on the prowl, I follow my own lead. Zerial headed north and I knew exactly where he was going.

The Halloween Quest!

"To the courthouse!" I silently point to the sky.

I arrive... and I'm too late. I stay a while, but spot no one except for Nightstalker.

Zerial had already come and went.

(Upon further inspection, it turns out that Zerial's veteran robe was still Blessed. It apparently was unaffected by the changes... somehow. As a consolation prize, I didn't miss anything after all. There was nothing to steal in the first place.)

Mullet was on his way to take over the courthouse-stalking-duties.

I head back to Luna.

Word of this glorious day must still not be moving too far or too fast. There were still veteran clothes to be hand.

(And I wasn't done yet.)

Kage shops at the bank and Nixon rides in, not far behind.

Nixon hides and Kage keeps him talking.

Nixon shows.

A robe and a cloak.

I go for the robe.

Success... but there was more to be had!

I hide and stealth right back.

(I'd have to be quick.)

Out the west exit of the bank, down the street to the left, and circling back across to the right, Nixon was on the move and he's a lot faster than me.

He waits.

I snoop.

(Damn, already in his bank.)

Manshoon approaches to conversate and Pola trips over me, but she's much too late.

Pola finds nothing but an empty pack.

(She's not very good at this.)

Manshoon spots the "thief", Nixon be-moans his lost robe, and Pola gets all the blame.


Meanwhile, back at the bank, the good guys assemble and re-group.

Pola, the code-breaking thief, shows her face again and swipes my poisonous blow darts.

I don't bother hiding.

She banks the darts and I step forward out of the crowd to get her attention once more.

(She bites.)

She passes on my trapped crate and swipes my intentionally tantalizing, neon-yellow, 12th Anniversary cake. I can only hope she gives it to her best good friends. Intentionally tantalizing, stealable, and of course, deadly poisoned.


(That's what it's there for.)

She falls for it and pats herself on the back for taking the decoy cake. And in the process, her spirits are lifted and is finally in the mood to talk. (And that's the cue to get the screenshots ready.)

*gets ready for the money shot*

*unzips pants*

(She just isn't very good.)

(So she's a code-breaking thief and she has a short memory...?)

She says this to me as if she's not a hypocrite. I don't buy it and neither do the other thieves of the shard.

And then the water works and pseudo posturing begins.

Sweat, sweat tears of bitterness rain down upon me.

(It's glorious.)

If she were any good at her profession she would have seen pseudo postureing many-a-time from many-a-victim. If she were any good should would have known how to spot it and see through it. I expect and understand it -- coming from other people -- but not from another thief. Why would she think I wouldn't be able to spot it from her...?

(If she were any good.)

I head back to the tower, request communion with the Gods, and wait for the day to come full circle.

(16th in the queue. We had some time to kill.)

The others grow restless. Jareth hands me Pola's blaze cloak and I end up waiting alone.

They finally respond.

(I sure am.)

Chad Sexington: *nods*
Chad Sexington: Three of them, actually.




*attempts to peek into GM Fiper's backpack*

(I had to try.)


(It looks like I'm not in trouble after all.)

"Is there anything else?"

(There's always something else.)


GM Fiper: ...

GM Fiper: ...

GM Fiper: ...

"It's worthless now."


And before the festivities were all said and done, Jareth had one more surprise, courtesy of Hugibear of SP!:

"But what about Pola? How will she survive?" asks the up-and-coming thief, new to the shard.

Let it be known far and wide, henceforth, that Pola is (and has been) forever blacklisted from the thieving community and The Code no longer applies. Pass this message on to your children and have them pass it on to your children's children. She forfeited the privilages of The Code for herself when she broke The Code with another. Let no other thief ever give her aid in the form of food, shelter, or toilet. Let all thieves steal, loot, and murder her at every opportunity. Let newer thieves be wary in her presence and let older thieves take comfort in the knowledge that somehow, somewhere, one of her former kind is screwing her over.

*solemnly closes book on this chapter*

*considers this matter closed*

(a.k.a. Fuck Pola.)

'Til next time!

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