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Episode 257: Be Advised

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Hail friends,

Change is good.

In a recent turn of events, the guild tower has now been converted into public property. (How else will I receive public mail?) And with one change, others are sure to follow. Certain... precautions now have to be taken. One of those precautions is the liberal use of detecting for home invaders. I had just returned home from... somewhere and did just that.



(An intruder?)

I go outside to confront my latest nemesis.

Nothing but a blessed 12th Anniversary Ticket and some regs. On one hand, he didn't have much. On the other hand, he was trespassing on our land.

(And on yet another hand, I could always use more regs.)

Without my kryss I go for my shurikens and begin peppering him with Mind Blasts.

(That'll teach you.)

And the intruder dies an embarrassing death and he takes a mouth full of Barter Town soil -- the same soil he spits on with every non-Jester's-Hat-wearing step he takes.

(Ah, ironic justice is served.)


I look again.

--What the...?

(How was I supposed to know...!?)


*runs upstairs and grabs a book*

At this point, mistakes were made on both sides. Lives were lost and hats were scuffed. It was very hard... for both of us. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. And now that the consequences of our fun is finally shed in the proper light, I do the only decent thing that can be done.

(I also intend to cover my own ass.)

I leave the book (along with his regs).


I know what you must be thinking.

"These stories are fun and all but... when are you going to get back to stealing, you Goddamn poser!?!?"

*throws Goddamn tomato*

Well... while the tomato was unnecessary and the damning of God was classless, hypothetically speaking, if a thief were to roam the lands the entire day, marching from Minoc to Vesper, Vesper to Yew, Yew to Britain, and Britain to Minoc (and find no one), cool people would understand the limits of my story-telling capabilities, the restraints in which I'm forced to work, and the pressures put upon my shoulders daily. Cool people would be more understanding of the situation.

You are "cool" aren't you?

*raises judgemental eyebrow*

*makes a cross with two index fingers*

*backs away slowly*

(I can't be seen with you. You understand, right?)

'Til next time!

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