Home | Forums

Episode 253: Ignorance is Bliss

First | Previous Episode Index Next | Latest

Hail friends,

Siege Perilous is not like other shards. On other shards, people are free to bank sit and day dream all day long. On those shards, instead of in their homes, they come to the bank of Luna and dream of the good ol' times when Trammel didn't exist. Oh, the innocence of it all.

(Some of these people also take a day trip to Siege, take a look around Luna, and conclude the shard must be empty... because people should be day dreaming in Luna with their packs exposed...? Oh, the ignorance of it all.)

But sometimes... innocence and ignorance collide is a spectacular display of murder and mayhem.

Enter Infernal Strike.

Your standard warrior/mage, skirt-wearing, tribal role-playing savage (or whatever he's supposed to be). With a pair of personally blessed Swords of Prosperity and a muddy redish-purple looking spellbook--

--Wait. What?

With his bless already used on his swords, his Fire Elemental Scrapper's Compendium was ripe for the taking!

This may very well be a skirt-wearing, tribal role-playing, ceremonial thing... but I'd have to sort it all out later. There's-a-work to be done!

*doesn't waste time*

*reaches out for compedium*

*you cannot steal this item*


(It's stuck.)

Just like the Tome of Lost Knowledge before it (in Episode 127) the Gods just continue to laugh and wash away my tears with their urine. They shimmy their robes to the side, let loose their wangs, and shower me over and over with their fresh, steaming buckets of fluids.

('Tis truly an unnecessary image.)

Spellbooks still couldn't be stolen but I'd be damned if I didn't try. Just like with the Tome before this, we move to Plan B. Yes, this crime was going to take place in the busiest intersection of all of Siege... but I'd be damned if I didn't try.

*doesn't bother putting valuables away*

*lets loose a shuriken*

The plan was simple: Cross my fingers and hope the poison is enough, cross them harder and hope no one else notices what's up, and keep them cross long enough to brush off my criminal status, loot his embarrassing body, and hope no one else is around to call for the guards!

His life dips dangerously low.

Neo of TNT pops out of the gate.

Infernal Strike's health is red-lined. Neo shrugs off the poisoned man's situation, doesn't notice my animal body, and runs off as if no crime was being committed. A few others race back and forth and then...

The poison wears off.

His strength continues to replenish, the random traffic doesn't suspect a thing, and I'm dying to stick him with another star.

He gets to full life, the random traffic never cared, and I'm back to life with no chance in the world.

At full life, he snaps out of his day dream and runs off... without a care in the world.

*shakes head*

Feeling down and out, I head to Umbra.

Another victim.

(Another day dreamer?)

A few blessed monster statues, a chest full of clothes, and...

A practice hatchet!

Saulo's pockets were generous, but I wanted more.

I've been burned by old jewelry in the past but...

(I'd be damned if I didn't try.)

With one in his pack and another on his wrist, I'd have to test the Gods once more.

*grabs shurikens*

I figured there were three outcomes, each with an equal chance of occuring: (1) Saulo would die an embarrassing death with the jewels free to loot by anyone, (2) Saulo would die an embarrassing death and the Gods would whip out their enourmous wangs one more time, or (3) guards would be called and it would be over before it began.

(And yes, if you never try, you'll never know.)

(a.k.a. Don't be shy.)

And... Saulo runs off to the north!

I attempt to track the poisoned man down, but I lose all trace. Gone. Vanished. Vanished and poisoned. Gone with his jewelry. Damn.

Later that day, I learn Saulo was in fact a returning thief!

So many treasures, so many shurikens, so many failures, so much ignorance on their parts and on mine. Sprinkle in a little success and you'll have to give it right back.

Ignorance is bliss?

I think not.

'Til next time!

First | Previous Episode Index Next | Latest

Copyright © 2009 uothief.com All Rights Reserved