Home | Forums

Episode 221: How Embarrassing (Part 1 of 3)

First | Previous Episode Index Next | Latest

Hail friends,

I slowly wake in the early evening to another glorious day in Barter Town. With everything to gain and nothing to lose, I wonder what kind of embarrassing adventures await me this day. But with no trespassers in sight, how will I ever--


Krunk Playa, Defender of the True Britannians Faction!

I spot a nice jewel from atop my lofty tower... but I'd need to take a closer look to size up my latest enemy.

On my way down and around, he doesn't move.

(I take advantage.)

(This is the last place in all of Sosaria you want to be day dreaming. Didn't anyone tell you?)

A spell channeling war fork and not much else.

Not enough worth taking a murder count for... yet just enough to be mildly entertaining.

--It's decided then!

A Barter Town comittee has convened, a verdict has been reached, and his reagents are now forfeit and to be added to the Barter Town reagent fund... at least 'til he snaps out of his trance and finds him self reagent-less and useless.

I eye the bloodmoss and make my move...

--And he snaps out of it right there and then!

(Was I playing with him or was he playing with me?)

He dashes north, notices the mountless thief behind him, shouts out "In Nox!", turns, and charges!

"Vas Ort Flam!" he says as I regain my composure.

And then he does the strangest thing.

I cure my poison, heal my mild wounds, and he trots over the hill to the east... And he begins taming a bull.

(Did he really think one "In Nox" would send me house hiding against an underequip mage?)


I still have his bloodmoss in sights so I mount my steed -- hands free.

I throw a shuriken, dash for his pockets, miss his bloodmoss, equip my kryss, and... the chase is on!

He turns the corner and I stick him with a second throwing star.

(I don't think he's much of a defender.)

I'm not one to butt my head into faction business, but there might be a reason the Minax and the Shadowlords are winning.

(Just a thought.)

I take my prize (without taking a count) and leave the horse be.

I didn't have a quarrel with the beast.

(And besides... how else would I know if he was coming back for more or if he would log out and call it a day?)

Embarrassing Adventures, indeed!

I rest my feet, take in the Spring air, lift my spirits, and thank the gods for another bloody corpse whose organic carbon compounds will be used to nurish this fine land.

A noble sacrifice.


But Barter Town wasn't through with me yet... and the embarrassing adventures were just getting started.


Sun Sign!


A new face around these parts. I make my introduction.

Sun Sign: Whats up?

(No hat!)

I decide to educate him on Barter Town laws:

I step to the side and see what he'll do. Sun Sign stops mining and takes a moment to read the book.

--And throws it on the ground and walks towards the forge!

(What's going on in Barter Town today?)

I'm about to give him a piece of my mind (and introduce him to my kryss) when I'm rudely interrupted. Today's adventure goes from strange to stranger.

Westley of TDO enters and provides the kind of entertainment that Krunk Playa only wish he knew how.

(Krunk's attempt at entertainment was commendable but... Westley will show you how it's done.)

Sun Sign: Sometimes.

(I'll have to get Sun Sign later.)

Sun Sign: It's all you.
Westley: Ok. Thanks.
Sun Sign: Somebody said to wear
Sun Sign: a jester's hat.
Westley: Yeah, I know.

"I'm ready for him this time."

(Says the naked miner.)

Westley: He killed me before.

(Oh, really?)

I'm unsure who these 311 guys are... but I hate them already.

Westley: hehe
Westley: yeah
Westley: ok

(Good man.)

Sun Sign: Yeah, you two are the first few I've seen out here.
Westley: oh
Westley: Yeah, most are in other areas.
Sun Sign: I'm total noob now.

They (finally) say their farewells, Westley heads into the mine and Sun Sign had... uh... other plans.

Sun Sign was busy sticking his appendages into appliances and Westly would be busy for at least a little while. I take the time to color my generic looking crate, come back with a suspicious looking crate, and put my plan into action.

The trap is set.

And I put on that finishing touch.

"Free Miner Supplies!"

(How could he resist?)

He approaches.

"I am ready for him this time." he says.

"I'll kill him if he shows again." he scoffs.

(He isn't.)

(He doesn't.)


I take his ingots, leave his pickaxes, drop a jester's hat, sit back and wait for his fiery, fiery vengeance to rain down upon me.

(Fully equip and out for blood.)

"I left your goods--"

*an angry miner is attacking you!*


(But I am not without heart.)

I shall leave a copy of our laws, for I am just.

--And I shall take your armor, for I am a sexy, sexy man!

I am through with this one, for my belly can take no more. And yet he returns to finish what he started.

(Well, one of us isn't.)

Westley: You dry looted me.

(Says the man mining in our backyard.)

(What's his problem?)

Our houses are close and our territory is marked (in book form!).

From the tower to the stables to the great mine itself, our borders are well defined.


Far away from Safe Haven (TDO HQ), onto other people's property like he owns the place, and yet he still insists on treating it as if it were public property.

I take my new toys and go home... but I'm sure he'll be back.

(Why did he bring enhance pots jewelry with no pots?)

(I fear the world will never know.)

'Til next time!

First | Previous Episode Index Next | Latest

Copyright © 2009 uothief.com All Rights Reserved