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Episode 189: The Dashingly Handsome Thief Goes to the Dojo

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Hail friends,

Once upon a time [and a few weeks ago] there was simple minded thief who roamed the lands endlessly looking for the 3 bare necessities of life: treasure, booty, and glory. His dashingly handsome looks were both a blessing and a curse. Wherever his travels took him, the local men welcomed him with open arms (and the local women welcomed him with... open... uh... other appendages), but regardless of the composition of gender and open appendages, he was always singled out of the crowd!

The dashingly handsome thief took it upon himself to break his ill-fated curse! He spread his wings and expanded his horizons. Farther and farther he found his travels taking him, far beyond the travels of similarly (but not quite) handsome thieves. Across the seas and through the deserts and still... he was greeted with open appendages as far as the eye could see.

"Why, oh why am I delt this fate??" he looked to the sky and questioned the stars.

*cough cough*

"So cold." he shivers.

His extreme case of handsome-ness was taking its tole as he found himself face to face at a magical moongate and at the door steps to a possible cure. And through the moongate he caught a glimmer hope as it flashes before his eyes. In a moment there was clairity, but he'd have to act fast as he saw it evaporating before his eyes.


He sensed refuge to be found for his illness in the lands of Isamu-Jima, the western continent of Toknuo! And where these lands were denied to him before... on Siege, he was denied no longer.

The road pointed northernly and so northernly he went. Armed with nothing but a few blank runes to expand his library, he finds himself at the entrance of the Fan Dancer Dojo.

The thief did not hesistate in diving right in with hopes that the mystique of the building itself was strong enough to suppress his radiating, ruggedly handsome bone structure.

One floor underground he enjoys the moment of solitude. Two floors down, with fingers crossed, he fails in his endeavors.

He was not alone.

A Panther of Gilfane has caught his scent.

The handsome thief watches for a short distance, inspecting the latest local and see's what he likes.

The thief decides that if the world wasn't going to just let his good looks be, he might as well play the part. A spell channeling, no penalty shield would fetch a medium sack of gold in these parts. But before he strikes, he decides to dive just a little deeper to try and spot any of the feline's friends (and anything that would fetch a large sack of gold.)

The feline was alone.

(The feline would have to do.)

The handsome thief returns and watches as the feline leads yet another succubus down the hall where the puppy of death was waiting.

At this point the thief accepts his fate. With a heavy heart he accepts the open invitation the locals are intent on handing him time and time again.

"Sigh." the thief mockingly says aloud.

With a new land all around him, he still could not escape his fate. With head hung sheepishly, he exits the dungeon, marks a rune, and returns to find the feline missing. Humbled and vilified, the thief then finds a quiet corner.

He sleeps.


He wakes.

The thief makes his way out of the dojo and finds the lower levels quiet. Hope was in the air.

A false hope.

He searches.

He finds.

He approaches.

And he snoops.

"Another dead body." he shakes his head with disapproval and mutual embarrassment.

Once upon a time there was simple minded thief who roamed the lands endlessly looking for the 3 bare necessities of life: treasure, booty, and glory.

(Once upon a time he'd have to look a little farther.)

'Til next time!

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