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Episode 178: The gift that keeps on giving. (Part 4 of 4)

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Hail friends,

Before we begin, I must warn you now. Today's tale is a very sad one. It's the end of an era which had so much promise. Today's tale will make me weep for future rainy days to come. Today's tale reminds me of a lesson we've all learned at one point or another: You don't realize what you have until it's gone.

Let's begin.

In the wake of yesterday's victorious victory and speaking of new toys, let me introduce you to another.

I've had this new toy for a few days now, but due to my (still) low levels of Magery, I've had to admire it from afar.

Today, I hope things would be different. But first thing's first.

(What's this?)

An up and coming carpenter with leftover arts & crafts scattered around the bank?


I stuff a pair of chairs into Hermes' crate and I take whatever else I can carry.

(We can't let these go to waste now can we?)

With Lord Hermes' explosion trapped crate still in my possession, I search the lands for my next low-resist-having candidate. I've wandered the Ant Hole before and have spotted such a candidate here before.

I spot a stray Gilfane.

This wasn't the candidate I had in mind and... she never stops running. (No chance.)

I continue onward in through the North East entrance, through the hive's center, and out the South West.

I look to the north.

I naked lumberjack!

Three times I study the movements and paths of the lumberjack named Jack. Three times I watch the lumberjack named Jack chop some trees, standing right next to my very innocent looking and unassuming crate!

Doesn't he wonder what's inside this 47 stone container? Isn't he curious what potential treasures some strangers might have dropped off in a possible lovers' quarrel?? Can't he feel the need to solve the mystery of the unknown items sratching the backs of his eyeballs and up and down the inside of his brain??? The itching!

Someone stop the itching!!

(You son of a bitch.)

I watch him take his newly cut wood to a small house not too far away. I check the contents of the box on the house steps.

(Wow. He's been busy.)

(Almost... inhumanly busy.)

But just to be sure, I pin point his drop off point, set down Hermes' crate, turn the corner of the house, and watch the lumberjack named Jack.

Jack approaches.

He stops. He takes one step right. He takes one step left. He takes two steps back. He approaches again.

He repeats the little dance and is dumbfounded as to how -- OH HOW -- to best the very tiny crate.

I snoop him and find a few Heartwood logs, Yew logs, and random droppings from trees. (I'm also unable to find any valuable Brilliant Amber.)

I dig into my stash of crates and try to set off the automoton's alarms to signal his master.

(Screw it.)

I got in, with kryss in hand. If boxes weren't going to set off alarms, I know what else would.

I open with a poisonous dart. A few bolts of lightning later and...

I toss his tools on the ground and I wait.

(Big D... of K0C? Why would Big D need the use of automotons to aquire wealth?)

I get tired of waiting.

I explore the countryside and return.

And find the lumberjack named Jack back and finally able to solve the puzzle of the easily movable and/or side-step-able crates!

I check for hiders (and a potential trap).


I put my crate back into place to see if he's really solved this ingenious puzzle all by himself.

He stops and pauses. He steps back and forth and back again. Finally he picks it up, stashes his loot, and puts it back down!

(Open it damnit.)


I go back for his discarded tools.

I take my crate, stuff everything I had into the very full container I picked up earlier and crack it open.

(It's contents spill on the ground.)

A red gate opens behind the house.

(Finally, we're getting somewhere.)

No one comes out. The lumberjack named Jack goes in.

I set things in motion, block their gating location, force them to take the long way around, and wait for company to come to me.

I consider my sins, find that I've already been given a murder count, and look to the north.

They'd be coming shortly and they already knew who they were looking for.

Boo Berry!

A bow weilding, armor-less man, riding an an etheral ostard.

He attempts to clear my droppings.

(I give him one more dropping to clear.)

And he springs into action!

Big words, but I was in little danger.

With poison fields casted in my direction, three things were clear:
  1. Boo Berry only had enough Magery to Gate Travel (or she would've cast Earthquakes).
  2. Boo Berry definitely had Tracking.
  3. Boo Berry wasn't too bright or she would've brought Conflagration Potions!

I lead her south east, often stopping briefly so she could catch up and string her along down the road to the City of Trinsic (and into guard zone).

(She doesn't bite.)

I still had her on Tracking, which also meant that she still had me on Tracking. I head back up, pop in and out of the Ant Hole I came in on and break both of our trails.

And of course, I go right back. I spot Hermes' crate still there, spot Boo Berry who thinks she's all alone now and watch her pick up the crate, wait for that fantastic explosion and... and...


She leaves. She's gone. She left.

No explosion with her charred remains. No explosion failing to kill her resulting in my own death. No great ending to a once great new toy.

She picks it up and leaves.

"That's not how this story ends, is it? That's not the end of Hermes' explosion trapped crate? I had such high hopes for many and future adventures!"

As did I!

From Hermes' to me, from me to Boo Berry. Wherever the crates' whereabouts, no one knows. I suspect there to be a trail of bodies still to come... I just won't be there to witness it.

*sad face*

I knew where she lived and unlike my past life, she also knew where I lived. With her trail cold, I head back home hoping for some company in my fabulous purple dress.

She never shows.

In the wake of Hermes' crate, I have a few future evil plans brewing inside my head. His crate may be gone from my life forever, but it's left a lasting impression.


(I blame all future deaths by exploding crates on Lord Hermes.)

'Til next time!

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