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Episode 174: Speedy Claxton vs. Chad Sexington

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Hail friends,

Ah, all is well within the borders of Barter Town. I had just checked our mines and everything was secure. In fact, everything was going so well, that I was just returning from a book run to Luna. (We run out so fast.) The sun was out, the birds were chirping, flowers were blooming, and best of all, no outsiders dare set foot on our land without our permissio--




"Stop! Halt! Yeild, I say!" as he ignores my mental commands and rides right past the donation container... and I'm pretty sure he flipped me off while exposing his arse in my direction (which was both very unnecessary and unfortunately unforgettable).

(You've made an enemy this day.)

I drop the books off in the closest house, an follow whatever trail was left. He was at full gallop and heading north. These were my only clues and it turns out... they were all the clues I needed.

I head down the northern ridge and out the border of the town. (a.k.a. I left cool people territory and entered not-so-cool-people-(like-speedy-claxton)-territory.)

But what was so damn important out here? I've been here before. I've seen what it has to offer. It's nothing but an uninteresting landfill of endless castles & keeps.

I check the landfill center. I check the mountain ranges of the east. I even check the small pocket of land in the back.

All empty.


Could it be...?

(It must be.)

So be it! To the Lost Lands we go!

Now me and the Lost Lands have a love / hate relationship. We've had our ups and downs. She said some things. I said more things. She started throwing things. I reminded her of her anger problems. She picked up some scissors. I tried to explain to her again and again that I had no idea where the unusually naughty female underpants came from.


(It's complicated.)

(But sexy!)

*pulls out a map of t2a spawns and eyes the bottom right corner*

From this entrance, there were only two likely destinations for my new found nemesis.

I head through the tunnels into the Lost Lands once more. I just hope she's gentle.

(And sexy!)

(She is.)

"In Vas Por!" Speedy Claxton shouts out, immediately followed by a poison field right on top of me.

I don't move.

(They were for the lizards. And besides... he's blue.)

He fights off some spawn.

(I wait.)

He fights off more spawn.

(I snoop.)


And so I sit... and wait.

I stalk the alter and watch the 3 red candles add a white candle by their side. Then another white. And then... lose a white.

(Wait. What?)

I criss cross the tiny spwan area and Speedy is nowhere to be seen. Odd... He was undisturbed. He would be uninterrupted. He knew this. Why would he leave? This was obviously what he came he for. Where would he go?


Perhaps there were more Gilfane at another spawn in need of his assistance.

Far to the west and then up the north, I check for the elusive Gilfane.

Me and Gilfane also have a love / hate relationship... but it's less complicated. (But still sexy!) I stole something they had. They yelled at me. I stole something else they had. They yelled at me some more. I stole even more from them. And they hired mercenaries like Speedy Claxton... to also partake in the yelling.

(I don't know what their problem is.)

Either way, the spawns were empty.

Now far to the north west and empty handed, I could exit onto Marble Island, call for a magical gate and go home.

I decide to stay.

I decide to back track my steps, hit every spawn once more, and at the very least, walk back through Barter Town's northern borders and happen across even more trespassers.

(What's this?)


It looks like my little romp through the lands took longer than I thought. He was already at 9 red candles.

I find a nice place to perch...

...and I wait.

He makes short work of the lesser spawn... but his progress slows as the spawn intensifies.

(He wouldn't be alone.)

Lord Quest!

"My quarrel is not with you!" I say, "Nor is it with your very large dragon with a taste for thief blood that I am no match for!"

(He ingores my... uhh... threats.)

Barracoon pops and sweet, sweet justice was in the air.

I wait...

And wait.

And wait and wait and wait!

It was taking surprisingly long for them to take him down.

Back-up arrives with another very large thief hating dragon right behind.

And finally, the moment I've been waiting for--

--the moment Speedy Claxton brought upon himself!

I've been watching closely. The beasts were doing the heavy lifting and the others sat back and took care of occasional spawn. Lord Quest had done most of the damage and it would be he that I'd go for first.

Barracoon drops. They hide. I wait.

Rhianon pops out first to drop some 110 scrolls (and one in particular that I'm in need of!).

I hold myself from going for the scroll just yet. My eyes were still on Lord Quest.

He shows... and speaks.

"all 110s" Lord Quest says.

(Good to know.)

I eye the other dragon tamer and get in close. She heads south towards me and just a few steps out of reach. I step forward, well aware of the traps laid on the ground.

They don't notice.

I snoop.


At 91.9 Snooping, I fail! After all the training and still, I fail! I reveal, my colors are shown, "In Nox!" Speedy shouts out, and they all suspiciously stand their ground.





I get it.

A trick. A trap. A challenege! Little did they know that between the three blues, they had no way to deal with me... even with a poison spell prep'd.

I see what I like and accept the challenege.

Were they out-matched? Maybe...?

Were they under equipped? Definitely.

Without any explosion or conflagration potions, it was over before it even began. (Unless my llama form abilities failed me as much as my Snooping abilities... but even I'm not that unlucky.) I take the scroll and the pre-cast poison spell is released. I successfully change forms and the game is afoot!

Speedy hits me with all kinds of minor spells. I brought the right armor and still, I'm quickly down to half life (and dropping).

I bob and he weaves. I cast a mirror image and he preps a lightning bolt.

I break a smoke bomb at my feet.


It's over.

(He was under equipped... and clearly out-matched!)

The poison still ticks away at my life. It still has a chance to reveal me. I just needed some time. Just a little.

One tick... and I remain hidden.

A second tick... and I still remain hidden.

A third tick... and I'm revealed! (But it's much too late.)

The poison wears off.

And I am victorious!

I go back for the rest and fill my pockets with whatever gold will fit.

The Gilfane hunting party heads east and so I head west.

Round 1: Chad Sexington

(Who dropped off a unicorn in the middle of town? Don't they know unicorns attack thieves on sight...?)

::shifty eyes::

'Til next time!

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