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Episode 170: Master of Disguise (Part 2 of 3)

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Hail friends,

Like any good middle of any good story, the hero of the story succeeds in what he sets out to do just by the skin of his teeth -- and this was no different!

I had the early morning to prepare and the rest of the day to kick back -- and kick back I did!

Before I knew it, it was 10 minutes until showtime and I still had some chores to be done. I zip around the tower with no time to waste. I tuck my Ninjitsu spellbook under my runebook in case of a nosey (and annoying!) person snooping around my pack.

Holding on only to my books, I shed the rest of my belongings, and with it... my identity.

I throw on a fresh suit of GM leather purchased earlier that day and use one of my many death robes as cover. I dye it a lovely shade of neutral blue. (They'll never suspect the neutral guy!)

I wash away all the little things and replace them with something new (and believable!).

And then that finishing touch.

But the white hair is a dead give-a-way.

*cracks knuckles*

(I came prepared!)

The little things do you no good if you forget the obvious ones.

(Guild Title off.)

I walk out the front door with a few minutes to spare. The 2 hour clock was on... but visual appearance can only get you so far.

I change the way I walk and I change the way I talk.

10 minutes ago I was Chad Sexington; a mild mannered thief with a propensity for dangerous (and often hilarious) adventures!

But no more!

Now I'm just humble Gerard; a lowly mage who plays Siege occasionally and mysteriously has no friends. Gerard, who has played UO on and off since 2000. Gerard, who's easily amused and tells bad jokes! Gerard, who likes to play alone, who doesn't own a house, and who is about to stumble upon an annual cat herding event!

(They'll never see it coming.)

But first, I'll need a neutral steed to match my neutral robe.


Let's call him Max.

With spellbook in hand, I arrive at Skara just in time to make my appointment.

I spot a few cat herders gathered at the town hall. I let my presence be seen, duck into the house next door, and wait for them to come to me.


The one who tried to get the best of me and jumped my own red gate home the day before! (This was just getting better and better.) Whatever inhibitions I had coming in were soon replaced with the taste of sweet, sweet revenge.

(Don't jump my gates.)


Oscar: Gerard
Oscar: Coming to cat herding?

(Cat herding? What's this cat herding you speak of?)


I capitalize my sentences and hit my periods. I figgit and walk and turn and smile.

(They don't suspect a thing.)

Max wasn't invited... but he provided me with a good conversational piece. (Job well done, Max.)

I return.

Oscar: Spree and I just have fun messing around sometimes.

I count 3 others. I had hoped for more (and with them, an increased chance for glorious, glorious treasure.)

I express my concerns for the turnout of the event.

Oscare: I think Gworpe might come.

(I don't know who this Gworpe guy is, but I hope he's rich.)

I haven't made any sudden moves as of yet. I didn't have to. This was going to be a long event and I could take my time.

And yet... my 2 hour clock wasn't going to wait.

Patty Pickaxe exposes her rump in my direction.


Oscar: How about Gerard and me.
Oscar: Against you and Patty.

Sounds good to me.

I walk over and get into formation.


(Another dud.)

Gworpe soon leaves and with him, crushing my hopes of his potential riches. There was only one man left -- the event coordinator herself.

But enough scheming for now... the cats weren't going to herd themselves!

I play the part and lead the charge.

Spree wasn't going to sit still now.

(Not now.)

+1 for Team Blue.

(Suck it Red. ^^)

Everything was going well.

A glorious Blue victory was on the horizon! The Reds were no match! The Reds were too slow! The Reds had--

--That was my cat!

(You've made an enemy this day.)


(Two can play.)

I wait until they're not looking and...



(I guess I'm not as sly as I think I am.)

But enough of this. I've played their game long enough.

I finally get Spree where I want him and move in to reap the reward that I so rightly deserve!

Their guards were down, the cats were in, and Spree had all kinds of containers with who knows what inside.

(Only one way to find out.)

I search...

And search...

...and search and search and search!

Crooks and robes and empty bags!?!?


All the lizards killed, all the regs spent, all the scrolls used and all the dead mages sacrificed! For what? All the planning and pre-planning. All the sweat, blood and tears! All the very small kittens led against their will into very small rooms!


(I won't let it.)

The town was running out of cats and Patty gets a little confused. Something was odd about her latest cat.

45 minutes into my timer and the herders succeeded in trapping all the kittens in their very uncomfortable cages.


We recieve a visitor.

(I decide something was wrong with her cat as well.)



Blackknight says his farewells and I find myself faced with two choices before me. I could ditch the act and ditch the herders right here, right now. I could go into Hiding and I could Stealth right behind. With axe in hand, Blackknight was right outside. I could go out, take my choice from the pickings and no one would've been the wiser.

I decide to stay.

Oscar: Thank you Gerard.

I decide on a different tactic.

At this point, I'm through being coy about it. I lay it on them pretty thick.

Every word that comes out of my mouth screams, "Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie!"


They don't budge.


I hide my disappointment. I hide my urge to go after Blacknight. I hide my intentions.


(I had 1 hour left and I wasn't through with them yet.)

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