Home | Forums

Episode 168: I'm a ferret and you can be one too.

First | Previous Episode Index Next | Latest

Hail friends,

Who says the daily ROT gains have to be a chore?

I start my afternoon like I do every afternoon as dictated by the Siege Perilous gods. Daily ROT gains are the first order of the day. I often cycle through a handful of different stables in which to fondle my trusty pack llama while passing the time. Today I settled on Britain, the City of Queens for the location for today's festivities and fondlings. I walk out my front door, pick up my stealable spear and head to the city's inner city stables.

I take the long way around the smithy shop -- getting my Hiding gain in the process -- and it looks like my trusty llama will have to wait.

(Someone else needs a fondling.)

Ah, a smith!

Oracle of C8V is turning in BODs and I arrived just in time.

His name doesn't ring a bell but as I pop open his pack and get my Snooping gain, I find that his pack looks oddly familiar.

Very systematically, the weaponsmith next to him spits out a few words, a Jar of Fortifying Powder drops in his pack, and he shuffles it off tothe bottom right of his pack. Every single one of the grey smithy BODs was yielding more Powder.

I would have some time.

I get into position.

He plops the next jar on top of another. I eye the jar in the back to lessen his suspicion.

I help myself and pray he doesn't notice...

...but I'm not that lucky.


If I had 120 Stealing I could've taken 2 or 3 before he noticed. (a.k.a. Shoulda Coulda Woulda.)

Oracle dashes off to the bank with the pitter patter of my tiny ferret paws tapping away from behind.

I spot him and he wises up.


I leave him be and make my rounds through the city's walls. Back around, up and down, my skills slowly creep up. I come full circle and find someone else to fondle and take Oracle's place.


I climb the patch of grass on the mound of earth to the left. I move in to see what he's brought me.

Unnoticed, unsuspected and unnerved, I beginning rummaging through his many packs.

I'm only through the third when I interrupts my shinnanigans!

"Vas Rel Por!" he speaks!

With only some jewels and a blessed deed (and a few bows which are much too heavy to shimmy away without the town guards noticing), I pick one at random.

I take pocket the jewel and go to find someone else to entertain my gaining.

--O.K. so I gave up on the patrol and gave in to my weaker impulses!

But no longer!

I shake it off, return the llama to the stable master and set out again for more fun filled ferret adventures. I find what I'm looking for back at the bank.

Oracle is back... and he brought a friend!


*pumps fist*

Everywhere I go, there they are. I couldn't put my finger on it before but... it's the stench! It's the stench that nags at me so. They nag at my loins in ways no others have ever nagged at them before.

They've become the Siege version of the Quantum Realm... except even less evil.

*shakes head in sudden realization of the moment*

A messy pack with all kinds of blessed crap.

(I dig deeper.)

(This will do.)

But first, I check Oracle just in case he left any straggling jars.

(No such luck.)

Oracle spots me again!

(But Stardust is not too bright.)

I use the town crier for cover, Oracle searches in circles, and Stardust is still trying to figure out what the hell is going on!

Ah, my work here is done. One gain here, another gain there, and before I knew it, today's chore was not only over but I had something to show for it. I'd soon take my Powder and my new Talisman home. But before I would, Oracle leaves Stardust with an ominous warning.

"Watch out for Chad!"

(It would be best if she heeded his words.)

'Til next time!

First | Previous Episode Index Next | Latest

Copyright © 2008 uothief.com All Rights Reserved