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Episode 154: The Mystery of the Darkwood Armor




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Hail friends,

Like any good mystery, this mystery begins in the most auspicious of ways. Every moment was undeniable. Every person -- significant.

(Let's begin.)

Enter Snoop Dog. The man in the darkwood armor.

And he brings offerings!

I take what I need.

And I take a little more.

Satisfied, waltz into the bank's walls.

(What's this?)

Ah.

This will come in handy... (and sooner than I think).

Mal-Grim enters and things start to get interesting.

With Snoop Dog carrying nothing of interest, I step out of the shadows and watch the show.

(Xeroth walks in and perches on the stairs.)

Snoop Dog: I don't speak English that well.
Mal-Grim: That's ok. Haha.
Snoop Dog: This is nice armor.
Snoop Dog: =D

I stay, they keep talking and Xeroth keeps eyeballing me like I owe him something.

Mal-Grim: Yes.
Snoop Dog: This is VERY nice armor#@

Snoop Dog runs to the stables... and I spot something I like!

Mal-Grim talks, Xeroth stays and I scheme.

Five minutes. All I need is five minutes alone with this guy and the ring would be mine.

*ponders*

...

*steps in the moongate*

*hides*

*doesn't go anywhere and walks right back*

Mal-Grim & Xeroth run off.

"Ha-ha!"

Finally, a moment alone. With the detectives gone, I make my move.

"That's very nice armor... What are your resists without your ring on?"

Or at least that's what I would have said if Snoop Dog had bothered to respond to me and if Xeroth hadn't spotted me and came running back right to his Snoop Dog's side!

(Bah!)

(Shoo!)

(I don't owe you anything.)

...

(I already snooped you for jewels.)

*attempts to swat Xeroth away*

*fails*

(This was going to be more trickier than I thought.)

Snoop Dog hides. I track him. I fail.

(A master of Hiding & Stealth, himself.)

I get Xeroth on tracking instead and wait until nosey one is two screens away. Snoop Dog pops out and I try again.

"Pardon me, Snoop Dog." I speak.

...

Nothing. He doesn't give me anything.

"TO HELL WITH IT!" I SAY!

The looky-loos and around-de-bouts won't stop buzzing and the soon-to-be-victim isn't playing his part!

(How rude.)

I entertain myself with something else, but it wouldn't be for long.

I return and things finally get interesting.

Mal-Grim, Xeroth, CandilynRose and King DaviD congrgate in the stables. Snoop Dog is gone, I listen in on their coversation and everything falls into place.

(CandilynRose is a little slow.)

You heard the man!

A gank squad was forming, a thief was about, and a armor snatching, ring of the elements wearing, two-faced tamer was off killing liches in the City of Wind!

...

It was a race.

(I should have seen it coming.)

I was looking at Xeroth funny, Xeroth was looking at me funny and the only one not putting on an act was the tamer himself!

The tamer was already in Wind, the gank squad was on the way and the clock was ticking. With no magery and no rune, I hop through the gate and head for Brit. Fate would have it that my Ninjitsu skill would have just raised above 70.0 the day before -- just in time. I had little time to waste.

I change into my new speedy llama form, don't bother stealthing, try to beat the gank squad to The City of Wind and hope they're still bickering with each other and trying to finally get CandilynRose to understand what the hell was going on!

I'M OFF!

I can taste it on my lips!

Llama form was useful for now... but it would do me no good for a snatch and grab! I failed 3 times just now. Failing 3 times after a steal would be suicide with the squad on my tail!

*ponders*

I would stay in llama form, I would stay in the shadows, and I would let the squad do the dirty work for me! I'd let the dragon's attention be drawn on someone else, let the tamer attempt to defend himself on foot while two others tracked him down and then and only then would I loot as fast as I could before they knew what was happening! Remaining in llama form I'd bypass the chance of failure and I'd get my speedy ass the hell out of there!

PERFECT!

(At the very least, if I was too slow to the body, I'd grab the ring and take my chances.)

(Let's call that Plan B, shall we?)

I catch my breath, slip into the shadows and hold my +3 Stealth bracelet close. With this treasure, I hit that very important mark of 75.0 exactly. I've been tripping over myself ever since I got here.

(Not anymore and not tonight.)

I head up the mountain and find something I was not expecting.

huh?

OrbiDerGrosse? The dragon?

Where was the gank squad? Where was the tamer?? Where the darkwood armor & ring of the elements that I was promised!

It was promised!

The dragon was left all alone and the tamer was no where to be seen.

Was he hidden? Was he waiting? Was he on to me? Was he on to them? Were they working together in some dastardly skit of evil, all to put on a show for this very curious and easily persuaded thief!

A trap!

(Shiney things make me careless.)

...

(I look again.)

The dragon's face was against the wall. A dragon of that size can't be towed in stealth with his face against the wall. A dragon that angry couldn't be told to stay with its face still against the wall.

No... not this dragon.

The tamer was inside. The dragon didn't follow. The gank squad never came.

But... if they weren't up to the challenge, then I'd do it myself!

I walk face first into Wind...

And Wind spits me back out.

...

(Shit.)

...

I've never been denied before... I've also never had to deal with the lack of Magery before. The City of Wind denies me my prize and my limitations in this world keep slapping me around, telling me that I like it, and demanding that I say it's name.

(Note to self: May have to buy and/or swindle a pair of soulstones and train Magery for my own evil purposes.)


I wait 1 minute. I wait 5 minutes. I wait 10 minutes.

The gank squad never comes.

(They must have lost their nerve.)

...

(Son of a bitch.)

All they had to do was equip themselves, get their merry band of brothers, charge in with their heads held high, and mowed down a dragon-less tamer decked out in full darkwood armor and wearing a ring of the elements! (He was... well... I don't know what he was doing inside. He wields Swords of Prosperity, yet he wears non-med armor. Odd.) He was practically begging someone to murder him and loot him dry.

"No, thank you. Please, keep our friend's armor. We insist." they politely declined.

...

Unless...

He was the one putting on the act and we were the suckers falling for his trap all along!

(An unsettling thought.)


I take my jewels and go home.

(I blame this adventure on CandilynRose.)


'Til next time!


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