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Episode 143: Confessions of a Newbie

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**Note: The next four episodes (the Confessions), all took place in my past, all took place before I had UO Screenshot Utility to take pics, and they're all true. The episodes will be returning to normal eventually. For now, this first Confession took place during my first week of UO in Fall of 1998.

Once upon a time, I read an article about this new game being made called Ultima Online. It looked interesting, but other things kept on coming up. A year passed and I hear of a new expansion for the game which will include "The Lost Lands." I give in, tell my friend about it and we both create new characters. One of the first decisions we have to make is to decide what shard to create our characters.

"Which shard?"

"I dunno, pick one."

"Uhhhh... Pacific?"


We find ourselves in the vast city of Britain. People coming and going. Some stop to say, "Hail." Others are too busy to bother themselves with us. We soon find someone nice enough to show us around. After a little chat we say thank you, and we go our seperate ways. But the safety of the town's guards is no place for brave adventurers! There is glory to be had! We piece together the finest suits of armor the ground of Brit bank has to offer. We stand on the edge of the city limits, gather our courage, take a deep breath, and we're off.

We prompty get killed by a mongbat.

We curse the world, look at our black and white screens, staring at our lifeless bodies. But glory isn't handed out to those who quit so easily. We say farewell to those characters, go to the log in screen and create new characters. This time it will be different! This time those fearsome beasts will not get the best of us!

I run as fast as I can as another Magic Arrow from a Orcish Mage sends me into the dirt.

The next time it was reds in Covetous while killing harpies. The next it was reds on the road. The next it was another mongbat. Five characters created and five characters defeated. This game was going to be harder than I thought. But what's this? "You must wait 7 days until you can delete this character" !?!? Then how will I play!?!

Ah, but they underestimated by intelligence. If you go to another shard, you don't have to wait.

*pats self on back*

-two days later-

"Wait. You can ressurect? WTF."

And that's the story of why I ended up on Napa Valley instead of Pacific.

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